All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by Advocates For The Persecuted, Inc., El Cajon, California (www.advocatesforthepersecuted.org) Advocates For The Persecuted is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization.
Scripture quotations are taken from the NEW KING JAMES VERSION, unless otherwise indicated. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Some scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. The "NIV" and "New International Version" trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.
Cover illustration is a stylized rendering of a photograph, used by permission.
First Edition: July 2009
All donations from the distribution of this book will go toward human rights advocacy projects in the Middle East, and humanitarian assistance to aid those who are persecuted for their faith.
Published in the United States of America.
Letter 1: She Carries His Stone
Letter 2: Blind Man From A Nation Of Blind Men
Letter 3: The World In His Infancy
Letter 6: A Church Carrying The Revolution Of Struggle
Letter 7: The Church Of God And The Church Of The World
Letter 9: The False Parallel Homeland
Letter 11: Transformationalists: Where Are You Taking Us?
Letter 12: A Disciple's Prayer
About Advocates For The Persecuted
We dedicate this to the One who loved us so much; to the One who carved and is still shaping us; and to the One who embraced and is still holding us.
We dedicate this to Jesus Christ -- God and Savior, Friend and Path, Teacher and Warrior -- and to His Bride, who is in His likeness.
And, with the tip of our pencils, we remember the last who are first: Those hiding in the dens and caves of the earth.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
The voices in this book represent the hard work and dedication of those brave people who bring the Good News to those born into Islamic families in Islamically dominated nations. As the gospel spreads throughout Egypt and other nations in the region, this nascent Muslim-background Church is growing, and it has an awesome gift to offer those of us in the West. We stand to greatly benefit from its unique perspective on church life, Christian living and how to be Jesus to those who have been raised to view Christianity with much distain and hostility.
Here, you will find testimonies, along with unique insights regarding churches and church movements now spreading across the globe -- church teachings that have originated in the Western countries and are being disseminated in Middle Eastern countries through Western publications and media. While we praise the efforts of those who preach the unadulterated gospel, some of the modern-day teachings gaining popularity in the Western churches have created unintended, painful effects among Muslim-background believers (MBBs).
Some of these teachings have actually discouraged genuine evangelism in favor of spiritualized activities that carry no risk for those who do them, because they happen inside churches, hidden from the view of those who might be offended by Christian activities. These teachings foster an illusion that Christians are engaging in effective efforts to win converts. Yet, they actually discourage the one-on-one friendly conversations outside the churches that often lead to conversions from Islam to Christianity, in favor of more and more "inside-the-church" activities. Converts born into Islam, who have been set free through the efforts of high-risk evangelism, see these teachings as a grievous trend to be vigorously resisted. In short, these letters emphasize the pursuit and practice of New Testament, high-risk, loving evangelism of the kind that turned the world upside down, as recorded in Acts 17: 1-7.
In this book, you will hear from a new generation of MBB leaders who are discipling native believers in order to help them circumvent such pitfalls, and stand firm under persecutions. You will also hear of their love for Christ, alongside their frustration with the failures of all too many native churches that have succumbed to a "safe" Christianity hidden behind the church walls. You will read of their hope for the fiery love of Christ to spread and take root in the Western nations, too.
This book demands your full attention, as you read it, and your willingness to open your mind to church writings that come from a non-Western perspective. It will undoubtedly challenge some of your preconceptions. However, if you take the time to absorb some of the insights here, you will be greatly blessed, and we hope, spurred on to pray for and assist, in whatever way God leads you, these brave leaders of this fast-growing MBB movement in the Middle East.
As you read it, we also encourage you to keep in mind that these believers face persecution, death, dismemberment, beatings, loss of possessions and livelihood, loss of families and relationships: in short they are living out the same persecutions as those that afflicted the early Church. They are also seeing the same miracles.
As MBBs have attempted to enter established churches, which are open to native Middle Easterners born into Christian families, but banned by law to MBBs, they have perceived many of these Christians to be enslaved by the fear of evangelizing in a hostile culture. MBBs have seen these Christians focusing on what they can accomplish inside the churches, because of the fear of possible consequences of spreading the gospel outside the churches. Some of these letters are written to native Christians born into Christian families. They are written in the spirit of Jeremiah, seeking to revive these native believers, who have succumbed to this fear. As a result, some have fallen victim to a form of Christian teaching which focuses on mystical experiences, and avoids the in-the-trenches, in-the-world evangelism that mark the pages of the New Testament.
It is hard to be a Christian in an Islamic country, whether you were born into a Christian home or not. We in the West have very little understanding of just how difficult it is. The voices in this book speak from a deep understanding of the difficulties a Christian experiences in seeking to live a vibrant, active spiritual life in these Islamic cultures. Speaking with the love of Christ, the writers seek the edification of the churches, and desire to strengthen their fellow believers' resolve, as they themselves become living examples of encouragement to those around them.
This is the heart from which these letters are written: in the same spirit as when Jesus spoke to the seven churches in Asia. They contain strong words at times, but they are written by those who, like the Apostle Paul, bear the scars of torture for their faith, and have earned the right to lovingly rebuke fellow believers who have forgotten their fundamental duty to Christ: The willingness to pick up His cross and follow him. These letters are also meant for us in the West, who, with all good intentions, may be aiding and abetting evangelistic methods that are not only ineffective in cultivating true righteousness, but are supplanting biblical methods of loving witness and reasoned arguments for the gospel that really do bring people from darkness to light.
The appeal of these mystical methods cuts to the heart of human nature: it's easier to stay inside the churches and thereby avoid arousing hostility and opposition to the gospel. In reality, the gospel's effect on the Middle East -- and even on our own culture -- will bring more division and strife, just as it did in Jesus' day. But, it will also bring eternal life to thousands upon thousands of souls now held captive by Islam in the East and false religions in our cultures. We invite you to join us in prayer for these men and women who are at the leading edge of this beautiful moment in church history.
May we be counted worthy to follow in their footsteps in our own lands, where the lost also perish daily, separated from Jesus Christ.
We hope you will find the footnotes helpful. There are idiomatic expressions, verse references, and cultural information contained in them that are necessary for you to fully understand the intended meaning. For obvious reasons, the contributors' actual names are not used.
One last thing to remember as you read this book:
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May God Richly Bless You With All Spiritual Blessings.
All donations from the distribution of this book will go toward human rights advocacy projects in the Middle East, and humanitarian assistance to aid those who are persecuted for their faith.
"Wisdom is fear.
He who fears keeps silent.
He who is silent lives, eats, drinks, gets bloated;
Becomes over satisfied with things."
This is what the preacher said on Sunday.
The audience shared his opinion --
his wisdom.
Shared his fear -- his silence --
The silence of the dead.
Let the dead preach to their dead.
I mean, let the dead bury their dead.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
"Remove from Christianity the possibility of a Stumbling Block, and abolish the consciousness of dread, and you may as well close the churches and turn them into dance halls."
-- Soren Kierkegaard
Church: The word brings to mind many different images and meanings. Some of us envision an altar within a sacred temple. Others picture a group of believers, united. Still others see an eloquent speaker standing behind an elevated lectern, while below him sit the viewers.
Though the forms of individual churches may vary, the true Church is only one.
The disciples said to Jesus: "Teacher, we saw someone who does not follow us casting out demons in your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow us."2 We saw someone not from our churches, our meetings, our denomination, our language, our race, or, our country.
The Lord of Lords -- our Savior -- our first-and-last warrior -- answered them: "[A]nd he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad."3
All kinds of men love Him. They bow down before Him. They comprise "a great multitude ... of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne ...."4
In this humble discourse, before this humble God, who forsook himself, taking on the image of a servant, we seek to transcend our differences: differences that have shattered our collective strength to fragments -- differences that could have strengthened us instead.
We begin from the core -- the essence of our faith: Jesus Christ, our Savior. He is the Word, the Way, the Truth, the Life, the Stumbling Block, and the Cornerstone. He was and still is rejected by the builders, yet He became the Cornerstone.5
We write from a perspective beyond the reach of conflict, as we ask these questions:
The Church: is She merely a temple, or a group of believers? Is She a consecrated altar of stone, or a humble home?
We flee from the arguments of denominationalism, as we seek the essence of the true Church -- His Bride. He is the Head, and She, the parts of His body. She is the culmination of His will, known by Her fruit -- sweet fruit you can never ignore.
She is not a sight to be desired. Dark and beautiful, she carries the features of the One who is more beautiful than all of mankind. She is His mirror, reflecting His glory. They are one. All He has is Hers. Her beauty and holiness come from Him.
The Church is also the salt of the Earth. If She decays, the flood will come and cannot be stopped, and this time it will not be a flood of mere water. If She decays, more evil will come! More darkness will come! More death will come!
She carries the Spirit of Life, hovering over the face of the world's destruction. She brings the Spirit of Immortality, penetrating to the "dens and caves of the earth."6 She holds the Spirit of Vastness, breaking down walls, prisons, and dungeons.7 She bears the Spirit of Guidance, challenging the delusions of the world.8
She is the light of the world: A city of light placed upon a hill, scattering the darkness with missiles of light. She sets alight hearts, illuminating back alleys, and mansions alike. However, if the light becomes darkness, there is no longer a distinction between a blind man, and a man who can see; no difference between a wise man, and a fool; and no dividing line between a priest and one of the sheep. All alike will be confused and lost. "[T]o deceive, if possible, even the elect." 9
She is the voice for those without voice -- the dreamer for those whose dreams are crushed under the weight of faithlessness, hunger, poverty, humiliation, or oppression. She is the bulwark of those abused within the gloomy, dark confines of dungeons: dungeons of deaf-and-dumb selfishness -- dungeons of tyrants. She is the advocate for those tortured to the very bone -- rejected and cast out by the world -- those who have fallen by the wayside -- those who have been cast as refuse upon the world's rubbish heap.
She neither abandons the naked and cold, nor sends the stranger away to search for warmth apart from her. She does not withhold her tables of blessing from the hungry. Her crumbs do not fall upon the road -- she does not throw her bread and her holiness to the needy in vain. A cup of cold water she will not spill, and it quenches real thirst, not just an illusion. She refuses to hoard those treasures eaten by moths, or consumed by rust and decay.
She refuses to serve two masters. She abhors worldly riches, instead believing and trusting in God alone. Hers is not like the faith of demons that believe and tremble, and are still trembling!
In contrast, she takes this creed to heart: Do not worship anything but God.
Yet, she also loves mankind, valuing the souls of man as something of great worth to God that she, too, covets deeply. She understands that Man is greater than the Sabbath -- greater than gold -- greater than the offering box -- greater than the whole earth and all that is in it -- greater than earthly authorities. He is the crown of all creation.10
You will find Her in the middle of the battlefield, head held high, fighting for the truth -- not compromising -- not relenting -- not fighting the wind, as a man might beat the air with his fists. No, She is fighting against spiritual hosts and principalities with all awareness, power and might.11
She refuses to flee from loving engagement with mankind. Ivory towers, high mountaintops, and the highest heavens are not Her place of rest. All that is separate, all that is far removed from the affairs of men, and all that is unreal, illogical, and saddled with superstition is not Her place of retreat.
Yet, She will not mix with the world as one of the world's own. Although she is in the world, She is not of the world -- not part of its body -- not one of its cells. She does not reflect its likeness, and is not made in its image. Instead, She stands separate, not mixing indiscriminately with the people of the world, yet, at the same time, not fleeing to hide her light.
She does not arm herself as the porcupine, fitted with defensive quills aimed at those who offend her -- withdrawing by Herself, within Herself, and living for only Herself! "I do not pray that you should take them from the world, but that you should keep them from the evil one."12
Her salt and Her light distinguish Her from the world, as one apart. Still, She carries within herself all the particulars -- all the details -- of human realities. She is mindful of human needs, frailties, pains, and dreams, while, at the same time, treasuring in Her heart a river so wide and deep it cannot be crossed -- a river that satisfies the deepest thirst of the land for Good News and sweet, soul-drenching rain from heaven.
She has been entrusted with an authority that holds the keys to true freedom -- freedom that breaks the inner bondage of the heart, unravels the threads of darkness, and unbinds the straps of our coffins. Against myths, denial, and alienation, She stands fit and ready to fight for righteousness, truth and justice.
Her presence in the world is not decorative, entertaining, or amusing. Neither does She exist to fill the desires of Byzantine churchmen or philosophers devoid of spiritual understanding -- those who merely host charity dinners, or hold cultural dialogues.
She does not wield a thick rod, raising it over the heads of sinners. She hurls no stones at those who are caught committing the sinful acts of the World.
She holds neither the sword of halal nor haram13 to the people's throats. She conducts no courts of inspection like the merciless Pharisees -- the master priests -- who attempt to examine the conscience and intentions with laser-sharp probing -- all the while wielding a whip over the people.
To the contrary, She is humble, not arrogant. Unlike the gluttons seated at the head of the tables, she stoops to wash the feet of the dust-laden crowds -- the good and the evil, the righteous and the wicked. She serves all, not discriminating among the favored and those maligned unfairly by the world.
The Church is also a genuine presence. She is not a spiritualized, imagined, or vaporous presence; or, conversely, merely a pragmatic presence that shamelessly justifies any means by which to reach Her goals. She knows holy goals reach fruition through holy means.
She is real: Not neutral, not gray, not a common thing, not usual.
She is, or She is not. Either, She is completely present, or totally absent: a living, active body, or a stinking, neglected corpse left at the roadside of the world.
She is the light of the world, and the salt of the earth -- a genesis for the blowing winds that bring true freedom, working with the Father and Son who are "working till now."14 She shares the heart of God, "who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth."15
She rises upon the evil and upon the good alike:16 Calling to the sick and to all who think they are healthy -- looking for the lost sheep, as well as the Prodigal Son.
She cares for, and embraces the ninety-nine. She deals with people, not as numbers, or cases, or stepping stones to Paradise, but as beings created in the image of God. She carries within herself the essence of the Savior: His features, His teachings, and His heart.
However, the Church will not be the true face of God until She becomes like Christ, who is a Stumbling Stone to all but the children. Yet even now, in caves and dens and holes in the ground; and in apartments nestled amid millions crowded into large cities bordered by miles of shifting sands, She carries His Stone.
The World rejects God's Stumbling Stone. He tries to remove the Stumbling Stone17 from his way: to break it to pieces -- to consume and assimilate it with his will of steel. Even so, whoever imagines that he owns the borders and limits of the Stumbling Stone is just a pitifully poor beggar. Whoever believes a fantasy that he has shattered or consumed it, has won the world, but lost his soul.
Know this: everything you build will be tested and tried when the rain falls down, the winds blow, and the storms uproot you. You will either fall, or not fall; collapse or stand firm; burn like straw, or shine like gold.
The world was amazed at the God who became flesh, and is still amazed. Thousands of souls, even millions, still quiver, and they discover their Savior and Lord -- they believe and are born again --they change and grow and find that all the old things are gone, and everything becomes new.
He is desired among all people, all nations: Our Lord and Savior, and His glorious Church, to whom He is the Head, and who follows His footsteps and His commandments, as She completes the road of incarnation that He began 2,000 years ago.
He is the Light, and She the light of the world.18 He is the Vine, and She the branches.19
The World despises Her just as he despised Him, because if She was of the world, the World would have loved his own.20
The Church is not of the World. He persecuted her Groom and will persecute Her, too. The more She lives in the righteousness of Christ Jesus, the more persecution, the more rejection, and the more She will be despised. Yet, She, like Her Groom, will continue to love until the end.
"[Y]es the time is coming that whoever kills you will think he offers God service."21 Here, He asks for Her because She is in the World: His representative, His ambassador and the sound of His trumpet, so that all His members be one, as He and the Father are one.
"Oh righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me. And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved me may be in them, and I in them."22
Yet, here the World, 2,000 years later, still does not truly know Him. He did not truly swim through the river beyond crossing, for whoever thinks himself a good swimmer in this limitless river is but a corpse lying at the bottom of a lake. Whoever thinks he has completely known God is a fool. In his heart there is no God.23
If Christ is the Stumbling Stone, then the Church is the carrier of the Stumbling Stone. It is Her crown, and the source of Her pride and delight.
She never has and never will compromise the truth and remove Him from Herself. She will not disown the Stumbling Stone, no matter what persecution or cunning the world employs to remove Him, or to shatter our Rock -- our Cornerstone.
He who goes around Her is a snake twisting the truth. He who consigns Her to the shadows -- the sidelines -- shall perish. He shall lose himself forever.
And, all those who deal with Her in the same way they would deal with a thing common and familiar, shall remain erect as a tombstone -- tottering as an idol, with their tongues making clownish movements, as if speaking, but not; listening with all attention as if learning, but not; eyes glistening, as if in pain, but not. Truly they do not talk, do not learn, and do not hurt.
Christ is the Stumbling Stone, and the Church is the proud, delighted, and capable bearer of this Stumbling Stone. She is the warrior.24
Christ is the symphony in the midst of the world's cacophony. He is fresh air for a world whose lungs are choked with pollution and corruption. He is sudden stillness in the middle of what is falsely called "the way," and misleadingly called "the truth." He is the quickening that comes without consent, and on account of no reason -- except for this one, deep, and hidden reason: "the Father's attraction" that happens while you, a sinner, are still in the dead state of selfishness.
The world 2,000 years ago was needy and hungry -- and still is -- to have its death by heart attack, so as to be able to receive the blowing of the winds of life.
The world's copper skies, and parched, cracked lands longed to be pierced by an arrow -- a loop -- an end which is a beginning -- a spirit of rescue.
The Stumbling Stone brings fullness of life -- creativity, vigor, and with them, strife -- to the Church. While impotence, iniquitousness, and misplaced veneration afflict the world, the Stumbling Stone brings
freedom. When doors, windows and walls are closed, and our senses are powerless to guide, and we have become hostages of the "secret place" -- hostages of rituals, slaves to the letter of the law -- prisoners without hope of ransom -- the Stumbling Stone brings life!
The Stumbling Stone is Jesus Christ: God manifested in the flesh.
The Jews stumbled on Him in the past, and they still do today. Others do, too. The question I raise before you is this: In order to convince the world to believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, would the solution be to remove the Stumbling Stone: His incarnation, birth, life, crucifixion, resurrection, and His message? Would the solution be to remove all this so that the door to heaven becomes wide and the road to life becomes easy?
Many Christians -- both of yesterday and today, with good intentions that I doubt will serve as their defense -- in ignorance or intentionally, I don't know, but the Stumbling Stone knows -- want to break down the narrow door in exchange for a wide door. They want to exchange the road of suffering and pain for an easy road that not only allows for one lost sheep to pass through, but all the ninety-nine as well!
The difference between the one and the ninety-nine is great numerically. Great numbers appeal to the world. However, is the greater number to Her benefit? Does it honor Christ, the Stumbling Stone? Does it befit the true Church?
They try to simplify what is as deep as eternity, and make it superficial until it becomes vulgar -- something to be roughly handled -- something to be cracked like a code. They make you think you can know Him, and know Him too well, all the while trying to simplify His mystery -- a mystery reflected darkly in a mirror that we will not ever grasp fully in this life.25
They try and keep on trying -- to win souls for whom? Their churches, or Christ? To the wide door, or the Stumbling Stone?
They attempt to offer simple, shallow answers to deep, great questions. How do they do this? By avoiding, removing, or shattering the Stumbling Stone. Why do they do this? It's done in an effort to win souls to the Stumbling Stone.
But, how can you remove Him, and, at the same time, still want to win them to Him? How can you deny Him, and yet still believe in Him? Can you have both the eyes of Judas the betrayer and John the cherished one at the same time?
Woe to him who preaches Christianity without a Stumbling Stone! Woe to him who softly, convincingly, and approvingly preaches something sweet and gentle in the name of Christianity. Woe to him who rationalizes the miraculous; who betrays the faith, and distorts it into an ordinary, commonplace wisdom. He removes the possibilities of the Stumbling Stone! Woe to every faithless watcher and spectator, sitting on the sidelines only to record false proof to win friends to Christianity by removing the possibilities of the Stumbling Stone! Oh for the amount of time lost in grandiose activities designed to make Christianity very acceptable -- very worldly -- very convenient and appropriate! Woe for Christianity formed through the credentials of the world, only to suit the world, conforming to it, and carrying its features.
The Stumbling Stone says "No" to the world, and says "Make peace with God." He says, "You will have hardship in the world, but have faith for I have conquered the world."26 He says, "Know that those who rejected the Stumbling Stone in the past will reject us, too."27 This Stumbling Stone is my lover.
So, if you are afraid to love openly, then fear openly. Don't conceal it. Expose it. Uncover it. For exposing fear makes it melt like wax. Spread it before the face of the Son. Then it will vanish, and normal, healthy fear will take its natural place in you, as it becomes a warning bell to save you, and not a fearsome prison to shut you up.
"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."28
Go! Tell everyone about Him. Tell them the blind can see, the lame can walk, the deaf can hear, and demons will flee. Tell them the dead will arise and the blasphemous will repent. His enemies will bow down before Him, because He is the Stone that causes men to stumble.29
Do we consider the incarnation merely a means to win souls, or is it an expression of the essence of Christian life? What do you think of "rice" Christians -- those who provide necessities of life on the condition of accepting Christ as a Savior? Does Christianity really teach that goals justify means even if the goal is to save souls? Does incarnation really mean removing all the barriers and stumbling stones (even the essential) to justify winning others to Jesus Christ?
The true Church -- manifested on the battlefield, contending as one in the heart of the world -- is light -- light that confuses and shatters the darkness.
The true Church is justice that stands before the dark, shameless injustice of the world, because She knows that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.30
The true Church defends the oppressed and persecuted -- a voice for those without a voice.
The true Church is equality in the face of social classes, sexual discrimination, and economic injustice. She is there revealing the light of Christ wherever there is the gluttonous satisfaction of the world amidst agnostic hunger.
In Her, there is no male or female, no slave or freeman.31 In Her there is freedom from all bondage -- both inward and outward -- for "you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
In Her there is salvation for all, love for all, both evil and good, black or white, slave or free, rich or poor. All are one in Christ, and in His indomitable Church!
Radical, She, like Him, seeks to change the world: to improve and enrich the lives of others. She spreads the fragrance of unconditional love, freely given. She is all this, and she does all this because the world before the Savior is one thing, and the world after the Savior another thing: A stinking lake before the Church, a flowing river after -- scattered bones before the Church, an army of love after.
For the world before the Church is one thing -- a man before the Church is one thing -- And, I suppose both should be different things afterward.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
If man insists on discussing the secret of life we have to remind that this is an everyday secret -- the secret of familiar things -- that accompany us from birth to death. It is the secret we see on a smiling face, loving eye, welcoming hand, also in a suppressed sigh, hidden doubt, closed lips, uncertain word, distracted thought. It is the secret we know each day because we live it each day and because we never want to lose it.
-- Dr. Zakaria Ibrahim, The Problem of Life
I grew up in a rich family. We are three brothers, and I am the youngest in my family.
My father had a good position in an important ministry of our government. My mother comes from a high-class family that is very influential in society. Therefore, my father was intent on providing a good quality education for us. So, like my older brothers, I also went to one of the French schools.
I can honestly say I had a very spoiled and comfortable childhood. I was the center of attention of all the adults in the family. I was able to pursue hobbies, and spend time practicing these hobbies whenever I pleased.
I had a strong fantasy for the piano, and I took piano lessons, because my mother also loved playing the piano. She used to play for us and we would gather around her to listen to her music.
At a later stage of my schooling, when most of my teachers were monks, some of my family expressed their concerns that I was rejecting everything that was Arabic or Islamic that I had learned since my childhood. I always compared the songs the monks sang, and the organ music they played in the school chapel, to the reading of the Qur'an and the loud voices during the Friday speech. I saw how the monks and priests treated us, and I was shocked at the way the Muslims and the Sheikhs dealt with people. I was disappointed in people, especially during my Islamic religion classes, which were a burden to my heart.
During these classes, I had to memorize what I did not understand, and I was required to believe in things I saw on children's programs and perceived as fiction. With time, I started to adapt. I realized that church, icons, and songs are things that belong to Christians alone. They started teaching me Islamic teachings, in spite of my being otherwise inclined.
Yet, even as I read about Islamic history and civilization, I was ridiculed by many of the strict Muslims, because I was not intent on following all the Islamic practices. I surprised them with the information I had gained through reading, as well as with my questions regarding the person of Mohammed bin Abdulla. They cursed me and called me an infidel, especially when I asked them to compare Burak, which Mohammed rode32 on Israa33 and Miraj,34 to Walt Disney characters.
Years passed and my adolescence years were spent rebelling against tradition; but, from time to time I made sure to read religious books as a means of gaining knowledge about something that was all around me. I also read English and French literature and drama, especially since my parents encouraged this.
This reading gave me an idea about the New Testament, for this literature included many Bible verses, referring to it often in many of these writings.
I was destined to live a life comparing Islam and Christianity, and as a result of the conflicts between my education and behavior -- between what I believed, and what I had been raised to accept and respect -- I ended up with a double personality. The killing and the terrorism that overwhelmed our country made me read more about the teaching of Jihad and the legislation regarding the morality of killing in Islam.
After I entered the university, I saw how students that belonged to the Islamic groups harassed their fellow Christian students. I supported the Christians, and would often defend them. As a result, the Muslim students were always suspicious of me. I never swore, or grew my beard, or donned the long flowing dress, or used the distinctive Islamic perfume and swak35.
To me they were things that did not belong in the civilized world today. I felt these were tribal things and Bedouin customs. I could see all these discrepancies, because I traveled a lot during summer vacations and I have seen how, in the West, they tolerate all those who disagree with them, unlike the Muslims, who believe in hating the other who is different -- even fighting him until he believes in Islam.
My real journey with the Lord began at the end of 1999. I was going through a very difficult time in my life. Suddenly, I lost a lot of money I had invested in a business project; I left my job, which I had had since graduating from college; my mother, who was the closest person to me, died; and, my fiancée, who was the only girl I loved, left me.
The picture of my life looked very grim, as I listened to the people around me blaming and cursing me, saying that what I was going through was a divine punishment because of my rebellion against Islam. Truly, it was a very tough time, and most of the people around me deserted me.
One of my relatives advised me to read the Qur'an. Honestly, I admit I fasted in case that should bring me forgiveness and draw me closer to God so that I might find peace and inner comfort. I did as my friend advised, and I prayed and read the Qur'an, but nothing changed.
I truly was not convinced that the Qur'an was able to give me peace in these difficult circumstances, because it was inspired only for the prophet, his friends, his wives and his enemies -- for his life period only, and not for me living in the Twenty-first Century.
During this time, God brought a Christian friend to me, who was a true believer, and a real help to me in this difficult period of my life. I talked to him about all my difficult circumstances, and he welcomed me into his home, and his family received me warmly.
I talked to him about my Bible reading, and he was surprised at how much information I had about the Bible and Christianity. One time, while I was at his home, I watched a Christian television channel. The program presented testimonies of people who were sick and weary, and the living Christ touched them and healed them. From that moment on, I watched that channel regularly, because I was drawn to the personality of Christ, who loves and cares for the worries of people. He did not punish them with sickness, but rather saved them from it. He was truly the Savior.
Here, I began to see Him with the eyes of someone who seeks Him, wanting Him to help me in my difficult circumstances. I only wanted Him to love me. I read this wonderful verse: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."36
One night in my room, I pictured Christ, with me laying my head on His shoulder and crying and saying, "I want to cry in front of you because I feel you are the only one who loved me so much, and you were crucified and died to declare this love." I found peace, and I read more about the person who went about doing good.37 This perfection, this greatness, can only be found in God.
One of the churches in our area had organized revival meetings, so I asked my friend to help me attend this revival. The Word was clear and direct that the chance is open for whomever wants to come to God, because He loves everyone. I listened to the song that says:
Create in me a clean heart, O God
And let your Spirit flow within me renewing the ways of life
Cleanse me from my sins, and lead my steps
May the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O God
I fell to my knees, and my tears were flowing from my eyes. After the meeting, I went home and watched the Christian channel and the program was about Muslims who had given their lives to Christ.
I needed courage to take this step. So I went to one of the foreign pastors, who was well known for his love and great knowledge. I asked him to tell me about Christ and Christianity. We met several times, and he explained many theological lessons to me. He explained the Bible and church practice in a very easy and beautiful way. Before he left the country, he explained the verse that says: "If you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts."38 He concluded by saying, "Christ loves you very much and He is longing for you. What will you do?"
My answer was: "I love Him and I want to follow Him."
When I told my Christian friend that I had accepted the Lord, he looked at me with tears in his eyes. He then took me with him to church and introduced me to the pastor and I attended church regularly. Six months later I was baptized.
Since then, I have carried my cross. I had problems with the authorities. I was summoned several times, because I refused my friends' attacking and criticizing Christianity in a barbaric way. I also refused to go along and pray with them at the times of prayer, even though they insisted I go with them. I was fired another time, and I had a confrontation with some of the strict Muslims after I refused to say El Shahada39 and repent. This is why the National Security officer questioned me, as he had heard that I had become a Christian.
The hand of God was with me all through this difficult time of my life. One day, I was doing my devotions before I went to bed. I heard a sweet voice saying: "Be not afraid, for I am with you. I have called you by your name, you are mine." Three days after that, I found a job in Cairo with one of the foreign companies, and, at that point, I became free to go to meetings. Then, I started sharing the Gospel with everyone I had a chance to talk to, whether in public transportation or public places. I met friends and brothers like me who do this ministry, and I went with them to preach the gospel, for we know the language of our relatives from an Islamic background, and this is why we are closer to them.
During this time I met a girl from a Christian background, and we fell in love. This relationship is a big problem in the Middle East, because the churches do not like to marry their girls off to Christianized men like me so that we don't have Muslim children, according to Islamic Sharia, which says the child's religion follows the father's. Although the church testifies for my faith, still my ID says I am a Muslim.
We both fought to be able to marry until her family gave their consent, after intervention from believers, and prayer and fasting. They became convinced that it is a relationship ordained by the Lord. Now we are engaged to be married a month from now. I hope everyone who reads my testimony will pray for my wife and me, and our home, that the peace and love and protection of God would be there.
Signed: I was blind but now I see.
Man has created idols throughout the ages. He offered them sacrifices -- loyalty and submission -- praise and worship. In return he expected happiness, but found only fantasies and delusions.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
"Great is the mystery of godliness, God was manifested in the flesh."40
The World in his infancy, in his first stages -- babbling like an infant -- crawling and exploring like a toddler -- climbing up the ladder of growth, development, knowledge and stability -- This World before the Church is one thing.
He had his own imagination and opinions about everything -- especially about the essence of his being and the source of everything that exists. He had questions about God.
He also had his uncertainties and fears concerning God. His were childish dreams -- childish desires to know God and to see His face. This longing to know had never once ceased since his birth.
This dream, this hope and supplication, was urgent in its desire to know God -- to truly know Him: To know His thoughts and His will. Perhaps, then, the haziness clouding both sight and insight would be removed. Maybe then, the curtain of the spiritual reality would be torn, sorrow would flee, and the heavy darkness would be shattered -- a darkness that blinds the vision.
This was the longing of the World in his infancy: that the darkness would evaporate -- would dissipate -- in the presence of the light of the knowledge of God.
Then, the World, as he grew from infancy into childhood, and, later into adolescence, stumbled in the corners of the earth: His worship arising, at times, from fear, while, at other times, from boasting. He imagined himself a semi-god -- a shadow of a god -- sanctifying a people, and defiling the nations. He killed in the name of the gods, showing mercy only to those whom He fancied.
He offered sacrifices, seeking a night's uninterrupted sleep with a clear conscience -- worshipping an idol his hands created -- offering pledges and lighting candles, and burning incense to bribe the heavens!
He imagined God created Paradise only for him and those like him. His soul never quivered in this thought. His heart never wept. His mind never understood that a desire for an eternity spent in a paradise apart from his neighbor would breed only poverty and misery of the soul. In ignorance, he dreamed of seeing his enemies cast into hell, along with all those who objected to his ideas and ways.
But, who were his neighbors? Not understanding the true meaning of these words, "my neighbors," he refused to acknowledge that his neighbors were all those who were, and are, unjustly confined by detestable cultural apartheid, or separated into those artificially contrived camps of separate denominations. He failed to see his neighbors are not only those related to him by blood, but are all of humanity.
The World in his infancy continued to search: questioning -- lost -- uncertain. Then, in the fullness of time, the World saw what no eye had ever seen before. He heard what no ear had ever heard before. He touched what no man or angel had ever touched before.
He saw the face of the Living God: the Most Holy, the Most Honored One.
He saw Him face to face: not just a reflection in a darkened mirror, and no longer veiled in mystery. The World saw Him -- no longer in a metaphor or allegory -- no longer in a code, or reflected in a symbol. No, he saw God himself.
"Who has seen me has seen the Father"41
"God was manifested in the flesh"42
"The brightness of his glory, and the express image of His person"43
The supplications, the prayers and fasting, the hope and the cries of centuries: at last the longing of the World was fulfilled! "God was manifested in the flesh."
Those who had thought God hated His enemies, and sinners -- all who do evil and infidels -- found instead that He is a sun who shines upon all: both the good and the bad. He is a sky who rains upon all: both the righteous and the wicked.
They found Him a loving God. In fact, they found Him to be Love itself.
The World was amazed--he had never seen a One such as this before or since. He had never seen such love as that which would say: "Love your enemies, and bless those who curse you."44
He had never seen such a One doing good to the abusive -- forgiving both big sins and small ones -- deliberate sins and intentional sins -- and casting them all into a sea of forgetfulness! He had never envisioned such a One preaching good tidings to the poor, healing the brokenhearted, proclaiming liberty to the captive, and opening the prison gates to those who are bound.45 Who had ever seen a One such as this? He guides the lost with His love, in love and to love!
The World suddenly discovered that its veil had been torn. He realized all he thought he knew about God had only been an illusion, a fantasy, and, ultimately, a lie. All he had known before was only his own sick and fragile fantasies -- fantasies of a limited and mortal being.
He had imagined God to be cruel, arrogant, and tyrannical -- One before whom no sin or fault would be allowed to merely pass by -- One whose angels watch, spy and report to Him everything big and small -- every audible whisper or hidden lust. The God of the World's imagination blesses His followers, but curses those who oppose Him.
The World remembered this saying: "Opposing Him breaks any bond of amity." Pleased only with slaves, the God the World imagined refuses all but blind obedience.
The World said:
"Whoever puts questions to God is cast out of His presence."
"Whoever dares to doubt shall surely die."
"Whatever is given needs be accepted -- be it good or bad, stone or bread, snake or fish, curse or blessing. For a slave is born, sold, purchased and dies without his consent -- without choice. He is helpless and lives only to do what he is commanded to do."
And so, the World before Christ was a slave -- a flock worshipping the god of the flock -- living in adultery, sin and captivity.
The World before Christ dealt with women as something merely to own -- goods to be bought, used and enslaved -- temptresses who fall easily into sin, far beneath men, belonging in tents, palaces, and in the end, assigned to tombs.
The World after Christ is another thing altogether.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
Happiness: is it here, or only there? The One who wipes away our tears: is He here, or only there? The One who sets us free: is He here, or only there? The One who satisfies the thirst of our soul for righteousness: is He here or only there? The One who sets us free to soar: Is He here, or only there? The One who treats our wounds, heals our diseases, and clothes our nakedness: Is He here, or only there?
Or, do we have only here a Christian army that kills its wounded: a powerful, pious, spiritual army competing for whom among them shall throw the first stone, for whom shall condemn? Are these nothing more than manifestations in the likeness of angels of light that do to us what nightmares do?
Barabbas, after he was set free, now rules.
Now he rules!!
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
In Christ, man and woman are one -- both with sound mind, emotions, and will. She praises, prays, creates, and fights against evil.
Is there any record of a woman denying Christ at the cross? Does anyone remember a woman turning her back to the crucified, or leaving to go fish with the disciples? Did not the female disciples wait until dawn of the third day, then went to His tomb only to find Him risen and victorious?
Who laid down all she owned: The rich man, or the widow who gave two mites? Who washed the feet of the Lord of Lords -- the Master's feet: Peter, John, or her? Who took the expensive perfume intended for the groom: The male disciples, or her? Who denied Him three times? Who betrayed Him for thirty pieces of silver? Who committed suicide after betraying Jesus, and who is it that betrays him even now: men or her?
Women, too, are created in the image of God:
"Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'"46
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."47
Before Christ came, man divorced her for the slightest reason, and sold her for the cheapest price, because marriage served the man: his desires, his lusts, and his need for heirs to carry on the family name.
The natural result of all this inequity: If she did not fulfill the "sacred" and ever-changing requirements, laid down by the fickleness of man, she was cast out of her home onto the mean streets of divorce. After he had maimed her with the sharp claws of his desires -- after he had eaten his fill of her lovely fruit -- He threw her upon the altar of fraternalism as an offering to be further abused by other men. He had finished using her.
After God was made manifest in the flesh, He said no more divorce -- no more slavery. True manhood is not animal virility, and true womanhood is not something for man to use and abuse, according to his whims.
After Christ, a man with his heart, mind, and soul, and a woman with her heart, mind, and soul will join together, becoming one flesh48 -- one being -- like Christ and His Church.
As the saying goes:
"Cursed is your lover if she could not redeem you at the time of your cross, and cursed is your lover if he could not redeem you at the time of your cross."
Before Christ, the world lived by an "eye for eye and tooth for tooth."49
But Jesus said:
"I tell you not to resist an evil person. But, whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also."50
"Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."51
"[You] shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."52
Is there love greater than this? I dare you to find it. Is there? If you find it, I boldly tell you to follow it -- follow it now!
The World responds to perfect love by blowing his trumpets of pride -- displaying his offering in front of the people so they can see and praise and honor the giver. On television screens, and on the pages of newspapers, the World blows his trumpet so as to be heard and known by all -- even the deaf! This is nothing more than a court of hypocrites -- a company of corruption that gives only to garner praise from men, and to take their seats in the first rows and upon thrones.
Whereas, God manifested in the flesh -- the one who forsook Himself, taking on the image of a servant -- the one whose humility is incomparable -- He lived what He taught. He himself did what He told others to do.
The human mind cannot comprehend the depths of such meekness. Instead, humanity is accustomed to audaciousness and nauseating arrogance.
Right now, consider the question: Would you accept a humble God, or do you want Him only when you perceive Him as almighty and omnipotent? Would you accept a God who loves you and respects your freedom, or rather, a God who will enslave you -- tantalize you -- frighten you?
"[W]hen you do a charitable deed do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."53 Did you hear Him, when He spoke these words? Did you hear Him when He said your offering, your giving, and your love should be done in secret, without seeking the praises of men?
Instead, "[T]hey love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets,"54 in order to show people their outward piety -- their decorated tombs that contain rotten bones.
Here is the true prayer:
"[W]hen you pray go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him."55
The whole world is hoarding -- plundering -- stealing -- cheating. All means are justifiable for the sake of obtaining earthly treasure.
Yet, Christ says: "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."56
In the face of God manifested in flesh, the world has only two choices: either to be like a wise man building his house upon a rock, or like a foolish man who builds his house on the sand.57
-- Muslim converts in Egypt
Total Authority is total corruption.
Tyrannical religious authority imprisons souls. Archaic religious authority assassinates minds.
Dreams are of two kinds:
Some imaginary and some real.
Patient endurance will not realize the former, whereas the latter will manifest like the dawning of the day.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
Your relatives, the people of your household
The people of your language, country, old religion
How will your eternity be without them?
So, be light for them
Salt for their spirits
And, do not hide your light
What use, what value is there for a light that does not shine?
What greatness is there for a light that does not give warmth?
How will you sleep the night seeing the others losing their way without your light?
What benefit, if a man wins the whole world and loses himself?
Loses his relatives forever?
"I" is a word accompanied or followed, in the past, with the amazing spontaneity, for which we Muslims are envied. "I" -- God save me from the word "I"! It is said as if, "I" in itself is polytheistic, a crime, and a great evil.58
Yet, who created "I"? Isn't it God? (All praise be to Him!) Did He create us so that He might live on our remains? Did He give us life only to place us in His battlefield so that He always conquers, and we always lose? And, in the end He shouts -- for whom to hear I do not know: "Who reigns today, the one and only conqueror!"
Forgive me. Those lies used to irritate me a lot. Nonetheless, I am a girl from a simple, pious family. I have three sisters and a younger brother. You see, my father always dreamed, like most Easterners, to have a son.
The male family member, in our Islamic community -- in our Bedouin "jungle" -- is like the lion that is due all the rights, while we females receive all the duties.
My father is a government employee. As you may know, in our countries half the population is employed by the government, and, as a result, the outcome of elections are 99 percent guaranteed. This is because those whom you feed and shelter will think a hundred times before rebelling against you, or saying no to you. We are all subjects in the court of our inspired rulers and "kings."
My mother is a virtuous woman -- a true home keeper who cares for all of us and never thinks of herself -- like all our mothers do. We live in a big common district, in a city that is said to be one of the oldest cities in the world, with a civilization that has amazed everyone except us. I often felt it was a civilization that glorified death more than life.
Yet, I came to discover that its interest in death came from the strength and intensity of its obsession with life and eternity. But, here it was, in the time of regression, welcoming the invasion -- the invasion that is falsely called the Islamic Conquest. Ancient Egypt was consequently corrupted -- Arabized with the language of the invading Bedouins -- dredged to become an arid place, parched like its invaders, with "neither plant nor water." Bedouinism does not accept the other, nor does it respect a differing opinion or criticism.
As it is customary for families with daughters -- "timed bombs," as they dub them -- they are extremely protective and fearful for their daughters. They shield them from neighbors, friendships, television, windows, books -- even the few solitary moments they are sometimes caught enjoying -- as if it is a crime to spend time with yourself thinking about what they have done to you, what they have engraved into your being, be it characteristics, habits, values, or traditions. These they have instilled in your being in the same random way they place things on a shelf with hands that know no sense of beauty; know neither how to make it, nor to preserve it. You become a stranger even to yourself. You don't know yourself, because you have never, even once, shared in forming your own features.
All this confinement and restriction made us isolated, not knowing anything about the outer world except what they would allow us to know.
My parents are not really to be blamed. They did to us what their parents did to them -- what our governments do to their peoples. They shut all the windows and doors, so that we don't hear, or see, or speak.
Governments, and families are apprehensive of intermingling between the sexes, cultures, peoples, and knowledge, because intermingling makes you compare, discover and know, (and knowledge is half the cure). Then, you rebel and revolt, which is exactly what they do not want.
A branch of our family tree lived in a neighboring city. Among them was a maternal aunt we were allowed to visit during the summer months. Believe me, I do not exaggerate, when I say that my visit to this aunt was like freedom from my prison. So, when I say that this little beautiful town was to me the city of dreams, allow me to stop the train of my life at this station, because this is the start of my beautiful story -- a story I love due to the many choices I subsequently made.
A city of dreams -- a city full of trees, beaches and quiet, provoking in one the beginning of light, revolution, beauty and innocence, yet with bold inquisitiveness, allowing one to know oneself as one truly is, without any masks, or fragile excuses, as all becomes bare and clear in nature's magical mirror.
My aunt's house is like a city -- a city created in her image, carrying her characteristics. I say this because my cousins Maged, the firstborn son, his brother Assem, and their friends are busy like bees in a beehive. It is a crowded house, but one that respects your privacy, and does not trespass under any condition. This is strange in our community, which trespasses upon all privacy without any apology or logical reason.
In this house -- my aunt's house -- I had almost complete freedom, at least in my own eyes. Yet, it was a kind of freedom that made you feel responsible without any supervision or guardianship.
Besides my maternal aunt's house, there was my paternal aunt's apartment. This aunt lived abroad, and her apartment was like a private colony for Maged and his friends, Basel, and Sameh. They stayed there all the time, along with other friends from every color, race and religion, who visited them.
I cannot describe how shocked I was -- the kind of shock they call "cultural shock" -- the first time I went to the city of dreams, and entered this colony: the apartment where Maged and his friends stayed.
One could not help but be amazed and astonished. Books and magazines were everywhere, along with paper and pens; political songs by Sheikh Emam and Ahmed Fouad Nejm; poetry by Amal Donkol, Mahmoud Darwish, Salah Abdelsabour, Mazfar Elnawab, Naguib Sorour, Nazar Kabbany, Taghour, Pablo Nerouda, Lurka and many others; books by Farag Fouda, Maxim Jorkey; novels by Dostoyevsky, books by Hussein Marwa, books about Elhalaj and Ibn Araby. It was a treasure of knowledge open for all, and to all, without any reservations, and with endless, heated discussions that started in the morning and continued until the wee hours of the night. All are awake, afraid to sleep lest they miss details they cannot make up for later. It was a time of amazing intimacy among all, and more amazing innocence in this colony -- I mean this apartment -- with its special laws, as if existing in another country, or even another planet.
Excuse me for the lengthy details, but I only wanted to give you a picture of what I witnessed and observed during the summer months. It was in this little colony that I heard for the first time about true freedom -- about friendship between males and females -- about religions -- about Marxism and Capitalism -- about the different schools of literary criticism -- about legend and fantasy -- about all the prohibited things: every red line, every taboo and sacred area that I, and many others like me, were raised to believe.
Basel, Maged and his friends, who were young men -- the oldest of whom, believe it or not, was barely 14 years old -- broke taboos and crossed forbidden lines with amazing deftness: with the courage of butterflies when they throw themselves into the flames and light. It is truly said that education has no age or language or color or sex or religion.
The summer months for me were a time of rebirth and freedom, which I looked forward to every year. As the summers progressed, my relationship with my cousin Assem grew and deepened. To me, he was the cord that tied me to Basel's colony -- their revolutionary friend -- and to their ideas and their public and private discussions. Yet, during that same time, in a moment, for a reason I did not know, my oldest cousin Maged turned upside down. He went from freedom to extreme fanaticism -- from friendship between males and females to complete separation, because mixing is prohibited -- from open discussions to being closed and fanatical, even banning the watching of television and listening to songs. Even in his dress, he donned the clothing of the Prophet and grew a beard. In a second of time, everything had become banned and prohibited, when Maged joined an Islamic Ancestral Group.
I would like to say here that everything you hear about these groups is one thing, but to have to face and deal with one of them is yet another thing altogether.
Maged was transformed from being free, kind, loving and spontaneous, to being fanatical and extremist in everything. Prayers, ordinances, supererogation, and supplications were everywhere: above beds, in closets, on walls, behind bathroom doors. This is because Islam and the Islamic groups in the 20th century really live in the very far past of 1400 years ago, imitating the Prophet, his companions and the "good ancestors" with all the Bedouin details of life -- "putting up hole-filled tents, in dry deserts filled with crude instincts." Because the Prophet lived all these details of life, we only need to repeat, like parrots, what he and his companions did, beginning with waking up in the morning, to how to step out of bed to the floor, to going to the bathroom with the left foot first and coming out right foot first, to going to the breakfast table, to how to eat food by hand, licking fingers, to how to drink and how to dress, to using "swak" to clean your teeth, to supplication for traveling, and on it goes.
A piece of advice from me to whoever missed the age of the Prophet of Islam, and didn't see his companions and the good ancestors: Do not be sad and do not worry. You only have to go to the nearest Islamic group to see a live personification of all the details of life in the Arabian Peninsula 1400 years ago, before all the ensuing cultural, moral, literary and technological developments in civilization.
Oh, and one very important additional note: At the time of the Prophet 1400 years ago, the Arabian Peninsula was at the peak of Bedouinism, reactionary thinking, and social retardation, which was not the case with the rest of the world at the time. I am not implying that the Arabian Peninsula did not see several educational and religious waves of change, but what can we say to the insistence of some communities on holding onto retardation and reactionary thinking, and even exporting them to others under the pretence of conquest of other countries that used to be more civilized, rational and humanistic? Indeed, this is our great plight!
I do not hide the fact that seeing Maged like this caused me great sadness, but what upset me more was that this spelled the end of the colony, bit by bit. What happened to Maged was very serious, and rumors came back to me through Assem. As a result, I came to know that the real, hidden reason behind Maged's turn to religion was that his closest friend Basel, as a result of searching for the truth, had converted to Christianity.
After years of discussions with Basel, Maged decided to seek the truth and committed himself to Islam, as he searched for the comfort, peace and tranquility he now saw in his friend, who had come to believe in Christ. He was also searching for answers to the questions and doubts, which his friend had raised for him and others, starting with the impossibility of distorting God's infallible Word -- His Holy Word -- because no one can change God's words.59 How could God, who is almighty and omnipotent, allow the distortion of His first book, the Torah? And, after hundreds of years, how could He allow the Zabour60 to be changed so that many generations had to live under this deception. And, how could God allow His third book, the New Testament, to be changed, too? Would God the Omnipotent, leave generations in perversity? Then, hundred of years later, He gives the Qur'an, but this fourth time, God suddenly, without any warning, decides to keep it from being altered. Now, He protects it with all His power! Why? No one knows!
Could it be that He suddenly acquired the courage He previously lacked? Could it be that He suddenly discovered that the alteration of His Books resulted in Humanity being lost, with the truth never to be found?
Did He wake up to the sounds of drums of war and the stench of blood from the battle between the believers and the infidels, where both sides claim that their book is infallible and therefore never changed? Did He?
Millions of questions are posed without answers that respect neither intelligence, nor semi-intelligence. There is certainly no respect, even for those of us who have neither complete intelligence nor complete religion!
Basel said:
"How can we believe in a god whose inspired words that have been changed are all that we know about Him? How do we know Him? How can we trust ourselves into His hands when He claims that He is almighty, yet was unable to do anything to protect His books -- books that are our only anchor and lighthouse? If we lose this light, the whole universe becomes dark.
"The Bible is the way that leads us to Him, and it is the mirror that reflects Him to us. So, if He allows it to be changed, He would be intentionally misleading us. Therefore, it is not the fault of those who believe in these books and devote their whole life to them. God is the first and only one responsible. He is the one to be held accountable for this deception on the judgment day, not man.
"In reality, these books from Islam and Christianity that both claim to be holy, infallible inspiration from God are different part and particle. There is no similarity between the God of Christianity and the God of Islam."
How can we compare the God of Love who says: "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you,"61 to the God of Islam who says: "And slay them wherever ye find them, and drive them out of the places whence they drove you out, for persecution is worse than slaughter"?62
The God of Love says: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"63 The God of love says: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged."64 The God of Islam says: "O Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and be stern with them. Hell will be their home, a hapless journey's end."65
The God of Love says, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them."66 The God of Islam says: "They long that ye should disbelieve even as they disbelieve, that ye may be upon a level (with them). So choose not friends from them till they forsake their homes in the way of Allah: If they turn back (to enmity) then take them and kill them wherever ye find them, and choose no friend nor helper from among them ...."67
Our God says, "You have heard that it was said, an 'Eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,' but 'anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.'"68
The God of Islam says: "The only reward of those who make war upon Allah and His messenger and strive after corruption in the land will be that they will be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled out of the land. Such will be their degradation in the world, and in the Hereafter theirs will be an awful doom; Save those who repent before ye overpower them. For know that Allah is forgiving, merciful."69
The one gives women the highest human standing. The other places them at the bottom of hell; considers them a shame and a source of temptation -- hidden commodities on earth -- something to be used for the pleasure of men in Paradise. In regards to the value of their testimony and rights to inheritance, Islam says a man equals two females. What kind of comparison can it be?
Compare this to the way Jesus responded when the Jews brought before Him the woman found in the act of committing adultery whom they were planning to stone:
"Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, 'Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?'
"This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, 'He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.' And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
"Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
"When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?'
"She said, 'No one, Lord.'
"And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.'"70
What a comparison between this God and that one! What a comparison between the God of Islam and the God of Christianity! What a comparison between Christ and the God of Bedouins and the Arabian Peninsula!
These discussions reached me in detail through Assem. Their effect upon me was similar to the effect they had had on Maged, but each of us reacted differently.
Maged's fanaticism was a ring of salvation to many who had almost drowned in the doubts and questions raised by his friend, Basel, once he had become a Christian. They also had a third friend, Sameh. He was very close to me, and he was waiting and watching concerning the issue of his best friend's conversion. He waited to see the results of Maged's fervor and research about Islam. Would he find the loving God his friend talked about? Would he discover the presence of God that is beyond description as in Christianity? Could he prove that the God of Islam is real, and not a creation of the Arabian Peninsula?
Would Maged find similarities between these two Gods, as he was hoping and dreaming for? Would he truly find a likeness between the God of Islam and the God of Christianity? Or, would he find total difference and complete contradiction?
In the middle of all this, my relationship with Sameh grew deeper. We agreed upon marriage, and journeying through life together.
After four years of Maged's total commitment to Islam -- the duties, the rituals, the fasting, the night prayers -- something unexpected happened. The bomb of rumors exploded in our family, and in the city of dreams. It was the biggest bomb of all! Maged had turned into a new person -- a convert to Christianity. I cannot describe the magnitude of the effect of this news. It rendered all of us completely powerless. We all looked to each other, as a family and as friends, in total astonishment. Many of us were unable to believe this was happening, because to us he was an example of commitment to Islam. Here, our boat of salvation in Islam was sinking before our eyes. Now, no one was able to save it. He was the one who was suppose to save us. Yet, after Maged became a Christian, everyone started falling, or rather rising, one after the other, onto the shore of the Savior.
The first drop of rain to fall upon this shore was Sameh, the man I was going to marry. The three of them -- Basel, Maged, and Sameh -- faced a raging war. Each of them separately faced his family, and the community of the city of dreams. They never kept quiet. They explained their faith simply, yet deeply to anyone who asked them about the reason of change in their lives, and the hope, which we all saw and felt in their behavior, words and lives. They had changed a full 180 degrees.
I will never forget the summer night when I walked into my cousin Assem's room. He was Maged's younger brother. I found him listening to the radio, and as I sat to listen with him, I heard words that ripped my heart. I asked him what was he listening to. He told me it was a Christian program from Monte Carlo about the love of God and the life of Jesus Christ and his death on the cross and his resurrection.
There was one word that I could not forget or escape from: the love of Christ. Christ loves me! Although I was a Muslim and did not believe in him, yet he loved me in a special way!
I was happy beyond description, and I remembered every word I had heard from Basel, Assem and the others. It felt like tides of waves were hitting me. Questions and doubts about Islam flooded my soul, and I could not escape them. Is the God of Christianity the true God, and have we been deceived and misled all these years -- 1400 years of deception? How much blood was, and still is, being shed in the name of this god? I asked Assem, because he was the one available at the moment: "Have you also become a Christian?"
He said: "Yes, I have found out who is the true God, the One who loves me, and is able to save me from my sins and selfishness." He also said to me: "You must know that each of us came to know Christ on his own, separately. Although we were influenced by each other, Christ dealt with each of us in a special way. Therefore, you should seek him and faithfully ask God to reveal Himself and to show you the truth and the right path. No man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.71
"Faith is not inherited -- a legacy is inherited. But, faith is a very personal experience. It is not like religion, which we could inherit but never realize. We repeat it in vain and never dig deep into its details.
"So, you should study, in all earnestness and objectivity, both Islam and Christianity and make an objective decision, because leaving a belief and turning into a deeper life is not as easy as you think. It is very important to count the cost and weigh the consequences."
Hence, the journey that I had started earlier was resumed, this time willingly and deliberately.
I read the Qur'an, the expository writings, all the ancestral writings, and all the Hadith.72 My search expanded, and my doubt increased. What they said about Islam was but a drop in an ocean filled with gaps and blood and distortions, all in the name of God -- killing, enslavement, plunder, and hatred -- all in the name of God. This "god" sits on his throne in the highest heavens ordering us to submit like slaves, and promising to those who obey a paradise filled with debauchery -- wine, women, fairies, anything you wish -- and to those who disobey a fiery hell with torture, snakes, scalping, and hangings that are worse than the slaughterhouses in any foolish authoritarian country that does not realize the simplest human rights!
And here, the curtain was torn away from my mind and spirit, and off came the years of delusion, and I recognized the loving God who is like no other -- Who loved us so much and still does, and made us to be sons and daughters and not slaves -- Who sets us free from bondage, and causes us to light the world, not to conquer it -- to be the salt of the earth, and not the locusts that devour everything.
This was the summer when I realized the secret that had drawn the four butterflies: Basel, his friend Maged, Sameh, and his brother, Assem -- four butterflies drawn more and more towards the light, the way, the life, the better life! Yes! Since 2,000 years ago, butterflies have been hearing the light calling: "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."73 "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick."74 "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance."75
After a short while my family discovered my Bible and my Christianity, and a journey of persecution and rejection began. They would not even share a meal with me, because to them I had become an infidel.
But, every rejection and every persecution is nothing compared to the love of Christ that is beyond understanding. It is the least I can give to the One who loved me and gave His life for me.
My siblings distanced themselves from me, lest I lead them astray, too. But, with time my older sister started watching my behavior. Like me, and many others in the city of dreams and in Basel and Assem's colony, she had not been safe from the intellectual and spiritual missiles that broke every stronghold, and every height that stood against the love of Christ. My sister was impressed, and she experienced the love of Christ and was changed, becoming a Christian and a member in the living body of Jesus Christ. Although we were small in number and young in age, yet we loved the Lord with all our hearts.
This small group that began with Basel was the first underground cell or church that believed in the God of love who loves everyone, good or bad, as well as believing we should stay in our countries so as to be a light to our relatives and salt to our land. "How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?"76
Christ in us has started gathering all to one, and is still gathering and uniting in love and submission, shaping his disciples to be more like Him.
My urgent plea to the warrior Daughters of Ishmael:
-- A Daughter of Ishmael
Children ask only those questions for which they can tolerate the answers, and doubt only those ideas for which they can tolerate the worry that they might be wrong. They believe only that which soars -- that which is innocent -- that which is true -- that which is free.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
A child believed in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and Warrior. He was born again and now his roots, heart and soul soak up the essence of the unadulterated milk:
The child grew in stature, grace and vision. In his spare time, he closed his door and stood at his mirror imitating the Master. He saw the Master in front of the Pharisees of the day, those who stuck to the letter to the utmost -- to the extent of the letter that kills.82
The Master was unusually bold, and had unattainable wisdom. He cut through the veil of their idolatrous letters until they found themselves naked in face of the essence -- the meaning -- the value of hidden, undeclared pearls inside.
The child knew what it meant to stand up to the Pharisees of the day, and what would be the consequences of such confrontation -- what a risk it was. The Pharisees were of the highest order, wearing the robe of righteousness of their day. They looked down upon those of little faith. Chastising the wicked, they carried heavy-handed authority, as they ordered the people to uprightness. And, they knew how to draw the crowds in a second -- how to enlist the flock and wield the mob.
The fundamentalists of every age always seek to hold the ropes of the game, and control the puppets on the stage of the world's events. They are those who appear "in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ravenous wolves;" 83 those who come disguised in the meekness and simplicity of doves, yet inside they are wise as snakes;84 those seemingly indifferent in their appearance, yet, in reality, they hoard the treasures of wealth and power.
In the marketplace of religion, these are the sellers of forgiveness, and holders of the keys to heaven and hell; the keepers of the treasury of pleading petitions and answered prayers -- holding the cards of intercession -- men to whom God listens.
The Master and Savior confronted them all.
Amazed as never before, his heart beating faster, with drops of sweat running like rain, the child watched the confrontation reach its climax -- not only with the Pharisees, but also with the tip of the fundamentalist mountain: the throne of priestly authority of that day.
This was the ruling class of which no one dared to speak, even to oneself, without sensing the need to remove his shoes, because he was standing in a holy place among holy people. He saw them in dreams many times, in the image of angels of light.85
And, yet here was the Master, and he does not take off His shoes as he confronts them -- and I heard His words like thunder: "'My house shall be called a house of prayer,' but you have made it 'a den of thieves'"86
Money and religion have crossed paths at the tables of the moneychangers and those who sell doves since the beginning. This is the place where the umbilical cord connecting the priests and the businessmen is hidden from the eyes of the flock.
How many times has Christ tried to severe this umbilical cord -- to wean the priests and make them lean truly and totally upon God?
The house of prayer called for prayer, and not for cheap gain. "Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's."87
"No one can serve two masters ... You cannot serve God and mammon."88
Christ tried over and over -- and he is still trying -- with the caste of priests until now, hoping to succeed.
The child took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his emotions, which had become more turbulent the harder he tried to imitate the Master. He discovered that every time he tried to imitate Him and be like Him, he starts, but cannot finish. Imitating Christ's relentless confrontations threatened to drown the child in a sea of strife -- a sea so vast that it could not be crossed.
Suddenly the child found himself peeking at the scene of Christ's confrontation with the Sadducees -- the religious leaders -- in alliance with the political leaders: Pilate and Herod and their courts. Here was yet another umbilical cord -- another crossing between religion and politics.
Will the Master keep silent? Or, will He remain paralyzed -- crucified on the cross of helplessness? No!
"Go tell that fox, 'Behold I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I shall be perfected.' Nevertheless I must journey today, tomorrow and the day following; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish outside of Jerusalem. O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing! See! Your house is left to you desolate."89
Did you hear what I heard?
Herod was the greatest political authority in his area -- his era -- yet, the Master did not fear him, or his soldiers. He did not fear those who visit at dawn, or Herod's prisons planted from the ocean to the gulf, or his infamous oppressive laws. To the contrary, the Master was not intimidated. He confronted him wherever he was -- in the open and in front of everyone.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" 90 He who has eyes to see, let him see, because we stand before the One who is greater than all the strugglers of world history, people like Gandhi, or Guevara.
Here we have Herod and Pilate, enemies before Christ, now united to face the Master. They became allies against the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.91
Pilate, you may wash your hands with water, but this outer purification does not purify the heart, nor does it sanctify the soul. You are still like graves whitened from the outside, like food that is pleasing to the eye but filled with poison. Wash your hands, Pilate, but the Master's blood is like no other.
Hear the voices of the crowds of Jews -- His people of old -- testifying against themselves -- a testimony recorded in history and in the scriptures: "His blood be on us and on our children."92 No one can erase this testimony even if he were the Pope of Rome himself!
The child grows more in love with his first and last Warrior -- his Knight. This is the One who confronted not only the principalities of earth -- the priests, politicians and economists -- but also everyone who went against Man -- against Life -- against God.
He confronted the roots of evil and corruption, "the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."93 He challenged them. He disarmed principalities and powers, making "a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it."94
For the first time, the whole world, which was enslaved to the ruler of the air -- Satan and his hosts -- sees this evil, unclean, tyrant, imposter defeated. It sees the spectacle of him weak, crying aloud, and running away when confronted by the Savior.
Now the child smiles, laughing as he hears the cries of the demons saying to the Savior: "Did you come to destroy us? I know who you are -- the Holy One of God."95 "What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? ... do not torment me."96
He laughs, because for the first time he sees the imposter helpless: The one who held the flag of tyranny a coward; the one who enslaved many people, crying before the Savior; the one who invented evil standing before the true God, condemned and unable to lift his head high.
The child suddenly arises, takes his paint and brush, and begins to paint a picture of the temptation scene. He says, in an audible voice, that Christ's experience with Satan in the wilderness carries the true secrets of life. Listen to it carefully!
"If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread."97
The Master answered: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."98 For bread and freedom are the two real faces of life.
"If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: 'He shall give His angels charge over you,' and 'in their hands they shall bear you up.'"99
The Master said: "It is written again, 'You shall not tempt the LORD your God.'"100 For there is sick doubt and just doubt -- the faith of trembling demons, and faith built on the Rock.
"All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me."101
"Away with you, Satan! For it is written, 'You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only shall you serve.'"102
Demons of the world, know this: Our Christ does not bow down. He walks upright, with head held high. He did not bow, and will not bow. He was not defeated, and will not be defeated. He conquered, conquers, and will conquer.
Now the child turns to a different canvas and begins to paint in his mind the scene of Christ's confrontation with Peter. The child smiles, but, at first, I could not understand why. Was it a smile of surprise, wonder, or curiosity?
Christ's confrontation shakes the corners of the child's room, as he sees Jesus rebuking Peter: "Get behind me Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men... Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."103
It was this same Peter who had made the confession, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God,"104 to which Jesus had replied: "Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you but My Father who is in heaven."105 It was this same Peter whom He appointed first to shepherd His sheep -- the same Peter whom he counted one of the close threesome, with John and James.
Yet, as the child took in the scene of this rebuke, he finally understood that Christ challenged Peter and challenges all His disciples because He did not come to bring only peace, but also a sword. This sword is not for killing, but rather for defining matters of import so that His disciples, and we too, will know both with whom we stand and with whom we do not.106
For, whoever follows the Warrior has to deny himself, and carry his cross and fight the good fight of faith. The door is narrow and the road hard, so watch and pray, because your enemy is like a roaring lion.
"[F]ear not those who kill the body...rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."107
"[W]hoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven."108
"A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master."109
The Master himself was persecuted, rejected, and crucified. His disciples went through trials "of mockings and scourgings...chains and imprisonment. They were stoned...sawn in two...tempted...slain with the sword...wandered about in sheepskin and goatskins...destitute, afflicted, tormented -- of whom the world was not worthy."110
All who live in righteousness are persecuted, and will continue being persecuted.
The victorious church is but an illusion, because she presumes that the time to fight is over, but Christ said that his kingdom is not from this world111 -- that hatred, opposition and hardship will be in the world.112
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
"Imitation, the imitation of Christ, is really the point from which the human race shrinks. The main difficulty lies here: here is where it is really decided whether or not one is willing to accept Christianity. If there is emphasis on this point, the stronger the emphasis the fewer the Christians. If there is a scaling down at this point (so that Christianity becomes intellectually, a doctrine) more people enter into Christianity. If it is abolished completely (so that Christianity becomes, existentially, as easy as mythology and poetry and imitation an exaggeration, a ludricrous exaggeration), then Christianity spreads to such a degree that Christendom and the world are almost indistinguishable, or all become Christians; Christianity has completely conquered -- that is, it is abolished."
-- Soren Kierkegaard
Twelve disciples turned the world upside down. Yet, millions of believers today: whom do they affect? Their silence 2,000 years ago changed the world, but the sounds of Christians today only add to the world's confusion.
The very letter they penned had the authority to break chains, while the words of today's Christians evaporate before they even reach the middle ear. Before they knock on the door, the echo of the sound vanishes.
Persecuted, they went around preaching the Word, whereas today millions of Christians are not persecuted, and if they are, they hide. They lock themselves inside their coffins -- "their homes" -- "their churches." They shut their eyes like ostriches fighting the air, winning imaginary victories. They hold their breath, whispering, so their words sound like tongues -- indecipherable.
The shadows of His disciples of old cast out demons. Their clothes healed the sick, because they followed Him, carrying His cross -- whereas now, they breathe amid the presence of many demons, who rest in their shadows. Those who think they are healthy -- those seated in the first rows -- those sitting upon the throne of the cave of the temple: now they rule.
Of course you heard Him when He said go to the whole world and preach the gospel to all creation. Yet many churches today say to the world: "Come to us. Have a home in us." They say the world must be obeyed more than God.
Therefore, I say: "Beware. In the last days, if possible, he will mislead even the chosen."113
Listen, lest you be misled!
Seven prayers voiced toward the East, as you confess to the priest, a closer mediator. Take off your shoes at the temple -- handle the bread and blood with awe and fear, trembling and consecration. Then, leave all this attention and trepidation -- leave it behind your back, and go to embrace the world and sin -- the tree of knowledge and selfishness -- with open arms and a dead conscience!
Repeat words in vain like the heathens -- like parrots. Defend with blind fervor all those things and rituals you do not understand. Use the symbol of the cross in your unholy war, as the cross becomes gold, silver or diamonds decorating your bosom, your skin, your grave -- taking on a tint you did not choose, for it was inherited -- a legacy from your parents and grandparents.
They left you what could not be inherited: Faith, which is not a piece of land to be registered in your name, or jewelry passed on from hand to hand, or a torch exchanged in the marathon of life.
Christ: there is none like Him! And, the Church -- the members of His Body -- there is none like Her! He is the head and She the members of His Body. She amazes the world -- startles it -- surprises it.
Anyone who thinks he has taken hold of Christ, and creates a tomb for Him, with rituals, and the lighting of candles -- I think he has lost the Way. He sheds his tears in a broken well.
Christ is unconfined to limits. And, the living Church belongs to everything that is without limits: all that is intangible, all that has no boundaries, all that is not surrounded with rituals, and walls of "halal" and "haram,"114 all that is not coded, not secret.
She is found amid vastness, where there is the Spirit, and true worshippers: those who praise in spirit and in truth, from the essence of their being versus mere appearances -- the heart versus the lips -- in spirit and not by ceremonies.
"When you fast do not be like the hypocrites with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting."115 (Matthew 6: 16)
They appear to men to be fasting, but as for God or righteousness their hearts knew no thirst -- their spirits never experienced contentment. Church of God: now everyone knows you really are fasting!
"[W]hen you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."116
Prayer is to be in secret, to the Father that sees in secret, and yet, here you are with everyone watching you while you pray, as if you are standing on the street corners! You repeat words in vain: repetition annulling your prayers; habit deadening your heart; routine extinguishing a fiery spirit.
Even if what you repeat are the very words of God himself, repetition kills the heart -- stills the awe of the spirit -- turns the mind to fruitlessness -- dulls judgment past the point of no return, so you become hollow and empty.
You become a sounding brass or a clanging symbol,117 or a broken wineskin,118 that holds only blind and deaf segregation, but unfortunately, not dumb segregation -- the confusion of noises are all too present. These enormous numbers carrying the emblem of the cross -- quantity with no quality -- become only numbers, like the Egyptians say, "to be counted like limes" -- numbers that have no effect, cause no change, make no development. These numbers only clamor, only confuse, as happened when Constantine sanctioned and made Christianity official.
Then, a Christian became not one who is born from above -- not one who believes and is baptized -- but one who is born to Christian parents, and so registered in official documents. A minister or priest became not one chosen by the Spirit and the Church, like Paul and Barnabus119, but rather one who attended seminary -- one who merely studies, memorizes, and spills words on exam papers, even cheating at times, because "success is a goal that justifies all means." That is the logic of the world.
This "Christianity" is not established upon the fear of the Lord. Yet, those who passed their exams become "priests and ministers," serving the rituals that meet the requirements of the religion listed on their parishioners' birth certificates.120
Those not chosen by God serving those not born of God may be a logical equation, but it is not a Christian equation, and this is true not because a Christian equation is, in itself, illogical. No! A thousand times No!
The Christian equation says: A minister is appointed by God, and a true Christian is one born of God, from above, from the Father of Lights. But, what can we do in the face of the world penetrating the Church to the point where the Church has become a recognized worldly institution that carries all the marks of mortality, commonality and familiarity? What can we do when investment companies and secular institutions appear virtually identical to the churches? Where is that mark that tells the world we are disciples of Christ?
An official bill of forgiveness does not do this, but love accomplishes it. Owning land, and increasing the number of church buildings do not do this, but healing and deliverance does show the world the One to whom we belong. Evangelism, discipleship, and casting out demons personify our faith. Lighting the world and salting the earth: These are the two faces of the true Church -- the Church an eye cannot miss, even if that eye was evil. For, the believers believe and tremble, and so do the demons.
The Church of the Lord is one thing, and the church of the world another!
The Church of the Lord is the Church against the world. She is against:
She stands strong against evil spirits, and evil realities, as She fights a spiritual battle in the heavenlies.121 On earth, She fights in love, justice, freedom and equality, personifying what has not been seen, what has not been heard, and what man's heart did not imagine. She manifests love in a land of evil and tyranny. She personifies love.
She carries within Her the Spirit of Life.
The leaves of an artificial tree do not move and the blowing of artificial winds does not impart to flowers the spirit of life. These winds do not move stagnant water, nor stir waves and gentle breezes. They do not inflate the sails, preparing the ship for battle and rescue. It is the blowing of real winds that inspires us, leads us, and pours life into us. A genuine, living breeze gives us peace both in the beautiful morning -- the virgin morning -- as well as the dangerous morning. It gives us sleep during both the stormy night and the balmy one.
Two thousand years ago, frightened and discouraged, His disciples deserted Him at the cross. One of the three closest to Him even blasphemed Him, and claimed he did not know Him. They left His hands and returned to their nets -- the strands that drown them.
And, here are His disciples today: not so different in spite of the passing of years! Many of them live for their daily haul, their empty windmills, and their meager crumbs -- gaining only cheap pleasure and treasures that decay as soon as they are gained.
They are waiting and looking, watching and hoping. They wait, like scattered bones awaiting a spirit to give them flesh and blood and life; broken wings seeking a real mending to set them free to soar; or, frightened prisoners locked in cells of oppression called "self" and "land" for the trap to be sprung and the rock removed, and the clouds cleared. They wait like children surrounding the aged, wrinkled faces of the disappointed who dwell in ghettoes with walls high in the face of the Sun -- those ghettos we call "churches."
They are like the freedom of love that has been tamed and reined in, until it became the "freedom" of fear and the blinding, cowardly silence that cuts off bold tongues, shuts mouths, and closes ears with red wax tape.122
They are like the sick looking for healing in expensive medicine boxes, and well-equipped physicians' offices so eager to receive patients that diseases stay welcomed for long periods in the bodies of patients as a means of cheap gain!
They are like coffins, waiting for someone or something to open them, and breathe into them the breathe of new life, but who or what shall do this?
This is the question that still confuses me: Do we need the blowing of a stormy wind to take us from silence to revelation -- from gray and neutral to the color of "more beautiful than Man" -- from fogginess in the world to the lighting of the world -- from no taste in the world to salting the earth?
Some of us say we need a blowing of wind generated through being established in the Word. Others say kneeling knees and true prayers. Still others say spiritual warfare, while others yet say spiritual gifts.
Some say we need the teachings of the fathers, and a return to the age of the apostles. Others say science, intellect, literature, and evangelism are the keys to the coffin in which too many of us rest.
In thinking about this, I know some thoughts are illusory. I think the Body of Christ must partake of all these fountains and springs -- these spiritual vitamins -- in order to remain a sane, fruitful and healthy body.
The absence of needed fruit -- expected fruit -- clearly tells us there is something wrong with this Body. And, as a Body, we need to discover what is wrong: examining and testing ourselves,123 and yielding to God's will that we be conformed to the likeness of His Son. 124 In doing so, we seek to regain our first love,125 and with it, more vigor after the many years of defeat, when the Church dwelled in the shadow of the darkness of the Middle Ages, and even now, is shackled by the traditions of men.126
The Western Church is in real crisis, as the West leads the world to the altar of consumerism. Everyone looks after his own interests -- everyone thinks selfishly -- and nations consider only their own advantage over another.127
Oh, if consumerism only yielded deep and lasting benefits! But to the contrary, its fruit is vulgar -- full of pleasures and gains achieved by any means possible.
Those who control the manufacture of arms want wars to continue so they can remain enthroned above the bodies of dead children. Who cares for the sorrow of widows? It doesn't matter. Who is concerned over the damage and destruction of war -- the cadavers? It doesn't matter. And, the church is distanced from all aspects of life. Churchmen ignore the selling of human parts, and the use of humans as laboratory specimens, and no one clamors for adherence to moral laws and obligations. An economy that knows no morals steams ahead, its factories enslaving many through pornography and child trafficking, and even using children for shameless experimentation.
The world is at a point of moral, ethical, and humanitarian crisis, because of the absence of the active and influencing role of the Body of Christ in this world. To me, this is clearly so in the East as well as the West.
Many reasons are offered by those in the churches for this minimization of the Body of Christ's role in the world, but the result is more corruption, more evil, more destruction, and more pollution.
Who is responsible? We are. We cannot shirk our spiritual, historical, enlightening responsibility to this suffering world.
We are responsible:
Yet, the churches overflow with wealth, power, and authority. And, who is responsible: God or man? The Loving God, or the Church of the World? The God who is present and available, or the distance, absent Church? Who is responsible?
Were Marx, Sartre, and Schopenhauer wrong when they denied God the manifestation of His presence in the world -- when they believed (and a lot of what they believed was true) that the Church is the mirror of God? Those who believed in the Church as the Body of Christ: were they wrong, too? Those who disbelieved were wrong. Yet, those who believed were wrong, as well!
Is the Church the voice of the voiceless?
Is She the cry of the neglected?
Is She the sighs of those dumped uncared for in the baseness of life?
Is She -- like Her Master, Warrior, Savior and Lord -- walking around doing good deeds and healing those oppressed by the Enemy? Or, is She the contender for the front rows, seeking authority, status and thrones of sand?
Is She the one who condemns, and collects the stones, and heats the fiery furnace?
Is She the one who measures with double standards, using one for Her close friends, and the other for the outcasts?
When slapped on the right cheek, is She the one who slaps back twice as hard? Is She the one who, when ordered to walk a mile, mocks and refuses?
Does She love Her neighbors, and hate Her enemies?
Does She refuse to pray for those who abuse and hate Her?
Within Her is the power to perform much good, but She does not accomplish it. There is a lot of truth she can say, but She does not say it, neither does She instill pure justice. Rather, She winks at it.
The salt in Her storehouses expires and disintegrates, and the light hidden under Her bushels begs to be released.128
Whose wedding feast is this?
Can any church dare to say to the world that whoever sees Her sees God? Can the Body of Christ dare and declare that they manifest, carry out and mirror the will of the Head -- Christ -- on earth?
And, if a church dares to proclaim this, will it be done in conceit, pride, or even scorn, in a desire to cover over extreme feelings of inferiority?
Or, will it be strongly based upon the power of freedom and healing?
Will it be based upon true spiritual authority and unadulterated teaching -- the power of the Word and the unprecedented Presence, which cannot be mistaken by the eye, or ignored by the ear -- a Presence that shakes any human heart of flesh?
Yes, we are in dire need that the Church actively proclaim love -- proclaim a white revolution.
Let there be no hanging of heads, no more embarrassment of the Gospel of Christ, and His cross, which should be Her pride and Her delight. His crown of thorns should be Her crown and His shame, Her light and path.
"I am dark, but lovely,
O daughters of Jerusalem,
Like the tents of Kedar,
Like the curtains of Solomon.
Do not look upon me, because I am dark,
Because the sun has tanned me.
My mother's sons were angry with me;
They made me the keeper of the vineyards,
But my own vineyard I have not kept."129
We need the Church following in His footsteps, in the spirit of His words, and the essence of His commandments -- standing proud in the gap like Him -- dark and beautiful, tanned by the sun.
The Church of Christ is one thing: one color, one tongue, one denomination. And, the Church of the World is a different thing altogether.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
There is no greater love
Than covering the faults of your loved ones,
Than repairing the gaps for your loved ones,
Than healing the wounds of your loved ones.
And, between the Alpha and Omega of love, to redeem your loved ones.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
I am married, and a mother of two sons. I am 32 years old, and I come from the city of Kanater, where I was raised, along with my two younger brothers. My father is not a strictly religious man, and he works for a petrol company. We used to see him only four days every month. My mother is a very pious woman, and she was the one responsible for our up bringing.
I have believed in Jesus for the past 15 years, since I was in my first year of college. Before I knew Him, I was always sad and lonely. I felt something was missing from my life, and I did not know what it was. I was always lonely, and could do nothing but pray. I prayed and worshiped and fasted a lot, thinking that this sorrow is a form of purification and atonement for sins I have committed in the past, or will yet commit in the future. So, I felt I had to draw closer to God. But, the more I drew nearer, the more the sorrow and pain in my heart increased. I did not know why. I thought this was romantic. I was looking for love, yet was never fulfilled.
I always came to God as I performed the five prayers. I read the Qur'an a lot, thinking that would drive away the extreme sorrow, but it was not the answer. I cried a lot, and became even more sorrowful. My family said that I was "envied" or "under a spell" and that I should go to "el omra"130 to be set free from whatever this was. All this happened when I was in high school. Then someone suggested that I should become engaged so I would change. Thus, my engagement took place, but did not last more than three months. It ended because I felt nothing for my fiancé. I was too young.
After I finished high school, we moved to Suez city because it was close to the university I attended in Ismailia, which was only an hour from Suez. It was also close to my father's work and the rest of the family lived there. My father thought that being close to our extended family would change how I felt.
Suez was the city where my family lived, but I had no direct relationship with any of them except for my maternal cousin. (You could say he was my cousin, but he really wasn't.) He was the closest person to me. He sensed and understood what I was going through. But, we rarely met because he lived in another neighboring city.
At last I was in college. The day I had dreamed of was here at last. Everyone said this is the best and most beautiful time of education and of age. Entering the university I met girls my own age, from my own city. We traveled together and did everything together, but I had one specific friend who was closer to me than all the other girls. She felt what was going on inside me, so we were very close to one another. Since I moved closer to my relatives, my parents were expecting definite changes to happen to me.
However, time passed and nothing happened. Yet, all this change gave an unexpected result for me. Everything became so strange, and I felt such loneliness that I only felt comfortable when I was lost in my reading.
One day I went to see one of my aunts, and there I met my cousin whom I mentioned before. I did not know him before, but with time our relationship became strong. This relationship became my only breath, because he felt my loneliness and my sorrow and my pain. I talked to him about my religiousness, which was choking me more and more everyday, and increasing my depression.
My cousin was full of energy, enthusiasm and hope. He talked to me a lot about God, but it was not the same God I had heard about. He talked to me about a God who desired our prayers and who wanted to have a relationship with us because He loved us. This was the first time I heard someone talking about a God who loves us and wants a relationship with us because He loves us.
What wonderful and beautiful words! It is really exciting to know this God my cousin was talking about, especially considering that he never prayed and never spoke about things being permissible (halal) or forbidden (haram). This was so exciting for me.
We talked to each other about a lot of different subjects like friendship, love, how to choose a husband, and how to deal with girls and guys at the university. These were very important topics for building me up.
One day I was very sad and depressed, so I decided to read the Qur'an. I kept on reading, hoping to find peace, as people had told me I would find. But, the more I read, the more I found that I did not understand anything, and this just increased my depression, because I felt I did not love God enough, and that's why I could not understand His word. This led me to contemplate suicide. I actually tried to commit suicide once, but my parents found me and carried me to the hospital where I was rescued.
At this time, by chance, I ran into my cousin near the university. He invited me to visit his family's home. We went together and we discussed why I wanted to kill myself and why I was sad and depressed. Here, my cousin stopped, and looked at me with mixed feelings of sorrow and gladness. I could not understand this, but I felt one thing: My cousin wanted to rescue me -- he wanted to help me.
Then, in a moment, he surprised me by telling me about his relationship with God, and how, since Adam and Eve's fall, we have inherited certain spiritual things like our sinful nature. Because we became separated from God, who is the source of healing, peace and love, our relationship with God was broken, and sorrow, disease, and depression had come about. And, because God loves us, He does not want us to be in pain, so He made a way for us to come back to Him. But we have to walk this road through our free will. That is why there are some who accept Him, and become free from insecurities and sorrow, and others remain subject to all this. For God to accept us again, there had to be an infinite person who would die so that God's righteousness could be fulfilled. This happened through Jesus Christ, who is without sin. Jesus is the one who saved us from sin.
Then, he asked me if I believed that God could hear us.
I said, "yes."
He said, "Do you trust that God loves you and wants to set you free from sorrow?"
I said, "I don't know, but I know that if God wanted to do something, He will do it."
He told me to close my eyes and ask God to change the sadness in my heart to joy, because He is able to do it. He started praying: "God, I trust that you hear us, and I trust that you love your daughter here, and you desire her to be happy. Please come, and take all her sorrow away, and let her know that you love her and give her joy. Thank you, Lord, because you hear and answer. Jesus, come now as we wait in faith. You did this in days of old and can do it today because you are the same yesterday, today and forever."
I don't know what my cousin did, but my mind was in turmoil. Strength flowed through my veins. It felt like a surge of blood, but it was very strange that I could not stand. I fell on the ground, and went into a deep sleep for more than a half hour. Then, my cousin awoke me, and I found something strange had happened to my eyes. My cousin took me to look at my eyes in the mirror. They had really changed. The sorrow was replaced with a twinkle. My heart's sadness was replaced by a beautiful strange joy that I had never before experienced. I cried and cried because of the joy inside me.
Then, my cousin took me and introduced me to a Christian friend and her sister. They were great sisters. They loved me, and began to study the Bible with me and teach me about this God, of whom I only knew His name. That was the greatest time of my life, because I rediscovered God and His love and my relationship with Him.
At that time, a strong voice started ringing in my head, and with it came a terrible headache. It told me that I was an infidel and I deserved to die. At this point, my cousin told me I had to resist that voice and reject it in the name of Jesus. And I did, and the voice went away. I have not heard it since.
I faced problems and difficulties for arriving home late, but I always felt Jesus beside me. My cousin and his friends prayed with me and encouraged me and talked to me more and more about the Lord Jesus and His real love for us. ("I have loved you with an everlasting love."131)
I started growing in the Lord through fellowship and study of the Word. After a while, I started talking to my friends at the university about the love of Jesus. My friends were impressed, and I invited my cousin to talk to them. And, the love of Christ touched them, too. But, one of them got scared and went back and informed the university security that I have strange ideas astray from religion. So, I was investigated, but I thank God He gave me the right answers and nothing happened from this.
At the same time, I heard that my cousin was arrested. I was frightened. A week later the national security office summoned my father, and they told him I had become a Christian, and that my cousin was the one who evangelized me. Now a war was waged against me within the family. They spoke against me. Also, the national security office summoned me for investigation. So, my father decided to marry me off to one of my cousins in order to hide my shame. My Christian cousin told me to speak about my faith and to have patience. But, I was afraid that my father would be humiliated, so I spoke only to my fiancé about my faith and he told me, "Be whatever you are inside the home, but outside you are a Muslim. I do this for my uncle, so I do not humiliate him."
I was married within 3 months, and I had a child right away. My consolation was that my cousin was married to a Christian like us, and I spoke to her on the phone, and we prayed together and read the Bible together. Then, I asked her for a Bible. She dressed up in the "hijab"132 and gave me the Book, and no one suspected anything. Then, the Internet revolution began, and now we meet on the Internet and by phone.
Now, I teach my children true Christianity explaining terms like God, sin, and Christ. She advised me to respect my husband. And, as a result of my respect and love for him, he started to love me until one day my son told him that I spoke to them about some beautiful ideas about God. Then, he started raging and hitting me, because he felt that I would raise his children as Christians.
We went on like this: I, encouraged by my cousin's wife, submitting to and loving him according to the teachings of Christ, while he acted tough and sharp with me, until, one day, we decided to fast and pray for him.
After a while he surprised me one day by suggesting that I go with him to the mosque one time and in return he will go to church with me one time. I agreed after consulting with my cousin's wife. We went to the mosque. When we went to church another day, he sat for only fifteen minutes, and then got up to leave. He was very angry on the way home. He said to me: "How dare you tell the pastor who was preaching everything about me! He was talking to me!"
I tried to explain to him that I did not know the preacher, and it was the Holy Spirit talking through him. He remained angry until we went to the mosque again the following week. Then, I told him to choose which church to go to. He chose the closest church. We walked in to find the preacher saying: "Listen you who are not hearing God. You will not have another chance to resist God. Jesus loves you. That's why you are here. Submit and surrender your heart to him."
He got up and did not comment. He remained silent for a long time.
When it was time to go to the mosque again, he refused to go and stopped the deal we made. Now, eight years after we were married, my husband watches Christian programs with me on the satellite, but he does not comment on any of them. I still read through the Internet, and study with my cousin's wife by phone or computer. Now, she is the closest person to me, and we talk to each other daily, though we have seen each other only once in the past five years.
Pray with me for my husband.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
God Puts Himself in the hands of man's freedom.
The One who loves less is always stronger.
God is always weaker in front of us because it is He who loves us.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
I challenge the churches to hear us: You who dwell in "ghettos" -- walled off -- estranged; and you who seek protection, belonging, and compensation even though you have neglected your calling, even as you distance yourself from the world!
While you stay inside your churches, chasms grow deeper, and mountains separating God's children rise upward.
The self grows bigger, magnifying your discrimination against those not belonging to your world -- growing into haughtiness, as you see others as inferior and lowly.
You are giants, while we were like locusts in our own eyes, as well as yours.
When our country distances itself from us, and considers us strangers, and stabs us in our backs, disowning us as native sons and daughters, then, there is no choice but for us to turn to the institution of the church -- the parallel homeland.
This is where we find the social club, and sporting activities right alongside spiritual activities, and the legal mixing and mingling of friendship and marriage between the sexes. Yet, alongside this liberality is the impossibility of divorce except for the sin of adultery, or changing your denomination or religion.
Here we are uprooted from the bigger homeland, our native country and culture -- uprooted from a land that reels under infamous laws and totalitarian rule and authority. We moved our roots from there to plant them in the land of your faith and security -- the land of "Church" -- where we serve, play, and live, hoping it is the replacement.
Then, we find that you don't care for the world or its problems. We find that, we, too -- now ensconced inside the same walled ghetto as you -- no longer care for the world, or its problems. Now, we almost hate the things that are in the world. Even more, we almost hate the people of the world.
Being closed off and aloof affects both physical sight and insight. Simple things -- unimportant things -- become huge like the Pyramids. We no longer see what's important.
Our souls no longer quiver at the sight of street children, who are naked during the cold March nights. Our eyes do not blink when we see them lying like the dead below the bridges of our beautiful city.
We are no longer vexed about the persistent unemployment that devours our youth through illegal drugs and the wrong fundamentalist religion of our land.
Instead, what we care about now is the spiritual warfare inside our walled chambers. What gets us up in arms is a new movie that has mocked our sacred and alternative homeland -- "the church."
What an exultant scene it is, as her bones quiver for the first time in her mummified history -- rioting not against corruption -- not against human rights abuses -- not for the cause of justice and freedom. No! We are rioting against the movie, "I Love Movie Theatre!"
Believe it or not! The Brethren turn the world upside down for the sake of protesting the novel, "Feast for Sea Weeds," and embroil the mother church in an uproar for the sake of "I Love Movie Theater."
When country and citizenship disappear from the scene, and trifling religious issues take center stage, growing to the point of pushing aside our fraternal love for our fellow citizens, we shall all pay a very high price.
The people of the parallel country, through their lifestyles and battles, are dividing our world in two: light and darkness -- the god of good and the god of evil. The pagan duality has appeared again in a world that did not believe in multiplicity and fusion, but only one color, one single vision, one devil, one form of worship.
Where are we in our relationship to the Father, who is in the Son? Where do we stand in regards to the rainbow colors of His glorious Church -- a Church that comes from the multiplicity of every tribe, tongue, nation and race, and is joined together as one in Spirit? Where do we stand in regards to Him who said, "He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad;"133 and, "I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.'"?134
This is the glorious Church, of which Christ said: "I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one;"135 and "You are light of the world,"136 and "salt of the earth."137
However, when man flees from the world, shutting his eyes, mouth, and ears like the "apes of wisdom" who see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil -- and the wisdom of this age does not see, speak, or hear -- he only retreats into separation, fear, and cowardice. He seeks solely his personal salvation -- salvation both through the riches of the world in this life, as well as unending eternity. He dwells where there is only the personal: a selfish salvation that cares only for its own happiness -- its own blessings -- its own praises. It is only him, and after him the flood.
Living Christianity is a fighting, engaging faith with spiritual battles that have real consequences on earth. Consider the fact that salt that has disintegrated cannot be made salty again. Salt has only one use: to salt the earth. If it does not salt the earth, it is spoiled. Light has great value: to light the world. However, if it is hidden under the bushel (inside the church only) and not placed upon the mountain of the world, at the highest point, so as to shed light for all so they may be saved and come to accept truth, then it is a misleading light: poor and miserly.
Separation and estrangement from the world give us a sense of victory, but there is no victory on the real battlefield. In our imagination, we battle with windmills, and put Satan under our feet. However, in fact, he virtually occupies the holy of holies, standing in the temple, clothed in the likeness of an angel of light, but turning it into a den of refuge for thieves.138
Within this ghetto of estrangement from the world, we fabricate lies and believe them, making them our teachings and theology. We based them on chosen scriptures cut loose from their original context -- amputated from both history and roots.
Beware! The ghetto of the parallel homeland wants a clear conscience with no guilt that may rouse the sheep from their slumber. It wants to make its fire one of coolness and peace, where its denizens are sedated into contentment, submissive and willing to give blind obedience, as it is preached: "Blessing rests on the son of obedience."
The Pharisees obeyed, and the Sadducees did not question, and so they were lost, but he who examines the spirits, searches the books, and increases his counselors succeeds. He will not be lost.
God should be obeyed more than men -- God, and not the priests of the dark ages -- those mediators of God and His successors on earth, who sit on golden thrones where there is moth and rust and slaves!
The ghetto of the parallel homeland continually conflicts with intellect, and why? Because intellect exposes it, scandalizes it, and disrobes it. And, Christ is the divine mind -- The Word holding the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Still, they consider faith to be against intellect, even though faith comes from the mind through reason. 139
Godly faith embraces the intellect, and the intellect grounds godly faith -- framing it and expressing it with logic.
Martin Luther said it was his "desire that there be as many poets and rhetoricians as possible, because I see that by these studies as by no other means, people are wonderfully fitted for the grasping of sacred truth and for handling it skillfully and happily."140
The mind floats upon faith everyday and understands what it once did not know, so the mind is renewed and the whole person grows in spirit, soul, and body. All three mature, and this maturation moves the church and its members towards the goal to be like His Son.
In contrast, the ghetto kills the divine love that differentiates his children from the world. It breaks it, and makes it collapse, because the church only loves those who love her, and hates those who hate her. She does not forgive -- does not fill the gap -- and her sun does not shine on the righteous and the wicked, nor rains on the good and the bad.
She closes her doors in the face of the prodigal son, and refuses to wash the feet of the poor and the children, but she kneels in respect and submission to the rich -- the masters -- those in the front rows where gluttony and lust for power reside.141
A church that stones all sinners with her authority -- believe me, a church that even stones the innocent: Where is that church today in relation to Christ, the Master, who is God incarnate in the image of man, and a dweller of neither caves nor towers?
Where are we in light of the Church in the Book of Acts that refused to rest if even one of them had a need -- the Church that carried the heart of Christ, where there was perfect compassion, perfect mercy, and perfect love?
The parallel homeland corrupts the true homeland.
Church is church and country is country, and the world is the field, which we will not be taken from except by the word of God. Even if our walls were as high as the sky, we are in the world: in its battles, issues, cares, yokes, sorrows and joys. Either we light it, or share in darkening it. Either we share in purifying it, or we share in corrupting it.
This is the challenge I raise in the face of the churches: Choose this day to be, or not to be. That is the problem. For someone to believe in Christ -- this is just the beginning of the road -- the first drops of rain. For him to grow and to be discipled -- to develop and become like Him -- for Christ to become his Alpha and Omega, his awakening and his dream, his silence and his fury, his gentleness and his boldness, his childhood and his prime, his robe and his coffin: he must live for Him and die in Him.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
On that day we were more than three thousand bowing knees.
And, he was the speaker who, in our eyes, did not bow down.
He was shouting to us, or to himself.
I do not know.
He was saying, "You cannot serve two masters: God or Mammon."
Beside me, someone was whispering in my ear: "Many of us serve only those two masters."
I whispered back: "How can we serve two contradicting masters?"
He said to me: "Don't you know the world has set three roads to Rome -- I mean to wealth?"
I asked him: "What are they?"
He answered: "Religion, politics, and sex."
Didn't you hear Christ when He said: "My house is a house of prayer,' but you have made it a 'den of thieves'"?142
God has no pockets.
He needs no fancy cars, or gilded clothes, or bank accounts.
When he was incarnated, He was born in a manger.
When He died, He was crucified on a cross of shame.
And, between the manger and the cross,
There is a river that cannot be crossed -- A river that cannot reconcile.
He who reconciled us, was not reconciled.
He did not reconcile the whitened graves,
The masks of piety,
The false auras of holiness,
The beheading stone of the Pharisees,
The whip of the letter, and the fragility of a temple that never experienced a blowing wind.
He did not reconcile priests who had secret ties with Caesar;
Those who gave what was God's to Caesar;
Making man for the Sabbath.
The One who reconciled us was not reconciled.
He said "No" to those who said "Yes."
So there was no reconciliation.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
You get lost when all the paths look the same in your eyes; when delusion convinces you that all the roads lead to Rome; when you do not examine the spirits, or test the teaching, or search the Word; so that the likeness of an angel of light seems to you an angel of light. You get lost.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
Between the incarnation we accept and the incarnation we reject lies a landmine field with a sign that says: "Forbidden to come close or take pictures."
You are forbidden to cross the red lines with a pen or paintbrush, or insight that transcends the veils, or surmounts the obstacles.
I am weak before these dangerous, forbidden areas. I have only the heart of a child, my small brush, and my pen that is color blind -- especially to this color: "red wax!"143
I heard them more than ten years ago saying that evangelism, building the Kingdom, and the Great Commission come only this way -- when you become a Jew unto the Jews to win them, and to those under the law as under the law to win them, and to those without law as if without law to win them.144
They always took scripture out of context and placed it in the introduction to silence the researcher. As a result, the inquirer stopped thinking, and the flock only listened and obeyed.
However, because I come from the school of testing everything -- examining everything -- carefully probing everything -- I was never one of the flock. I was never one those who does not know the difference between scripture, exposition and explanation.
Not every biblical introduction leads to a biblical conclusion. The sweet attractive fragrance of some flowers is just a trap. Not every book embossed with golden letters carries between its covers a real treasure!
So, I posed questions, took pictures where it was prohibited, drew near to the forbidden areas, and mastered crossing the places sealed with red wax. My untamable curiosity was this: to know what is in the "holy of holies" -- those places where the evangelism experts develop new methods of redeeming cultures instead of souls. I wanted to know what comes after these "transformation" scriptures. Where will you take us? Indeed, exactly where will these transformationalists take all of us?
Will they take us to the point of imitating in appearance only those we wish to persuade, or to becoming like the genuine article both in appearance and in essence? (Keep in mind that imitating the outer appearance, many times, was the manner of political appointment, rather than through casting a secret ballot.)
Will they take us to the point of becoming like them -- until we, too, reach the melting and mixing point -- until we, too, are fake clones and distorted monsters?
Exactly where are you taking us?
Is there a separation between the culture of a people, and their beliefs? Where are the points of agreement and disagreement? Will conforming with the outer appearance cause me to cultivate some belief, some ritual, some thought against Christ?
Do you mean that we should imitate the culture and tradition, or rituals and worship? And, is this transformation just a pious performance contrary to what is within our hearts? Was Paul talking about hypocrisy or compromise when he said to become a Jew to win a Jew? Is there a level of evangelism that truly requires hypocrisy and piety? Is compromise a tool for gain, or is it the weakness motivated only by wanting to survive?
Will we exemplify a community that has no boundaries -- a community with no biblical, spiritual, or theological limits -- a community where we imitate others solely for the purpose of "winning them for Christ?"
The transformationalists bypass these questions with remarkable deftness, and even more remarkable feeble-mindedness!
As I am writing, another thought comes to me that I cannot pass by. Paul was one of the most persecuted, tortured, humiliated disciples for the sake of Christ's name, because he was a voice for the voiceless, and the peak of boldness when the crowds were silent and the flock fearsome.
The wonder of wonders is that when you read 1 Corinthians 8-9 within their context, you actually see the essence and source of all Christian living -- you see the essence of love! If your freedom is a stumbling stone to those weak in faith, you are not to use your freedom. Freedom is not letting go of truth for the sake of compromise. Freedom is not a selfish claim to go your own way regardless of the impact upon your brothers. The freedom Paul was speaking of is the freedom of love: the freedom to love God with all your being, and others as yourself. The essence of responsible freedom is love.
Godly knowledge in Christianity does not boast, and is not arrogant.145 It does not cause those of little faith to stumble. He who thinks he knows everything knows nothing.146
"[W]hen you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble."147
Imagine: Is there greater love than this that one lay down his life for his loved ones?148
Is there greater love than this -- to forbid himself for his loved ones, to starve so his loved ones are fed, to go naked so they can find warmth, to be manifested in order to redeem? "For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all that I may win the more."149
Yes, love is the essence of true Christian life. Love is both the end and the means, but this love is not haphazard, imaginary, or misleading. It is not just an emotional state that varies between high and low, or ignites and turns off, afflicted with the curse of fluctuation. Rather it is love based upon the Rock -- the Cornerstone -- Jesus Christ. Embracing this love is a free, willful decision made by an individual who sees, realizes, knows and counts the cost, and is willing to bear all the consequences of this decision with all honor.
Come with me to walk in the footsteps of Paul, as he says: "What am I saying then? That an idol is anything, or what is offered to idols is anything? Rather, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice they sacrifice to demons and not to God, and I do not want you to have fellowship with demons. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you cannot partake of the Lord's table and of the table of demons. Or do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than He? All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify."150
What are the things that are lawful to me, but which are not helpful, and do not edify others? This is a question we cannot skip over, ignore, or attempt to circumvent. For mere illusion -- false pretenses feigned to win another over to our side -- is not a work of incarnation, but of politics. So, let no man ask what is in his own interests, but rather what is to the benefit of another. "Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience' sake; for the earth is the Lord's, and all its fullness."151
Listen: Paul said the earth is the Lord's, and all its fullness. And, conscience here means not your own, but that of others. Consider not your own conscience, but the conscience of another.
Is there any difference between your conscience and that of another? What is the difference? What makes my conscience free, and that of another prone to stumbling? Why should my liberty be judged by another man's conscience? If I partake with thanks, why should another speak evil of me for the food over which I give thanks?
"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."152
Listen: do all for the glory of God. Give no offence either to the Jews, or to the Greeks, or to the Church of God. Give no offense to whom? Pay attention to this: The Jews, the Greeks, or the Church of God, or to all? Beware, for He said to be of no offense to all.
"[J]ust as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved."153 Here, Paul clearly does not want to offend the Jews, the Greeks, or the Church of God.
My question, which I humbly place in the hands of all who call for this kind of transformation in various cultures around the world: Why do you avoid offending some, and not others? Why doesn't your experience carry the justice and equality of the teeth of a comb? Why this provocative, fanatical imitation of habits, traditions and rituals without the slightest examination, inspection or deliberation? Is it habit, culture, or belief? Or, is it all the same in the eyes of your illogical, groundless viewpoint?
These are issues and questions we cannot escape or ignore. The apostles of old stopped, discussed, and confronted with a boldness we do not have today. Should we not do the same? Yet, our Christian societies today oppose investigation; oppose reasonable creativity.
Yes, it is true: Man is greater than the Sabbath. But, that does not mean that Man lives upon remnants of the commandment. In ancient times, as well as in the present, man lived and continues to live as a slave to the commandment, where duties, rituals, and commands replace God through the relentless pondering of the very commands meant to reveal His love. In Christ, however, the commandment is there for the benefit of the free man, not the slave. Outward conformation, by itself, does not create true communication, just as outward distinction alone does not create true difference.
Honest communication and genuine distinctiveness is both an art and science -- and both rest on a shared language that reflects an honest understanding of one's self and another. The one is grounded in unselfish love from all the heart, given freely, with no agendas or conditions. The other is grounded in authentic faith that is not willing to conform to another in false appearance in order to achieve an end.
Not all who imitate another -- embracing shapes, habits, rituals and beliefs of the other in parrot-like or ape-like manner with vain repetition -- shall win the other to Christ Jesus. Neither does that mean that he genuinely loves the other. I know conformers who do not love the other whom they imitate. And, not all who detach themselves from others, hiding in secluded towers apart from the graves where men spiritually perish, shall win them either.
Superficial, skin-deep conformation is synonymous to non-communication, and utopian-seeking separation is synonymous to non-personification.
Between outer appearance and inner content lie secret ties -- appearances connected with the essence of habits and traditions -- appearances connected to beliefs -- appearances connected to environment and civilization. Every person represents a unique experience of real flesh and blood, and not just a number or case to be pitied. Therefore, true communication respects both self and other. It is not a case of intermingling or fusing one with the other. Communication preserves both your color and that of the other -- your fragrance and his -- your flavor and that of the other.
Before communication, you were two separate people, and after communication happens, you are still two separate people, but the two of you become close, experiencing and sharing love and understanding, or love and disagreement. Communication is not that which consumes the identity of the other unawares -- not a merging in a moment of loss of consciousness so that the two become one. Gods become one!
No. On the contrary, communication is an instance of clarifying each one's identity, as only a person with a clear identity is able to open up to the other without disintegrating or being washed out by the rain, or blown away by the wind.
Even God, manifested in flesh -- an example of incarnation for us -- did not live a life of conformation to the other. He was not comforting, acceptable, or digestible to them. On the Sabbath, he walks in the fields, his disciples plucking heads of grain to eat, and the Pharisees, as usual, waiting in opposition, said: "Your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath."154
He answers them with what is written -- the history of King David, who was hungry and went into the House of God and ate the Bread of offering that neither he nor those with him were permitted to eat. Then, Christ declares that God desires mercy not sacrifice.
Christ continues on to surprise the fundamentalists of every age, as he heals the sick on the Sabbath: a man with a withered hand, and a woman with an infirmity that for eighteen years left her permanently bend over and unable to stand straight. The Master healed her on the Sabbath. The Pharisees and priests were offended. Shamed for the moment, yet they still conspired to destroy him.
Christ said, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."155 He said, "I did not come to call righteous, but sinners, to repentance."156
Even the disciples of John the Baptist asked Him: "Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?"157
He said to them: "Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast."158
Personification is not the only facet of Christ's incarnation. Distinction is another. Our distinctiveness, as it honors Christ, reveals those areas of unfamiliar and unusual attraction that cause the other to be surprised. This unexpected discovery causes the other to inquire, doubt and search to know the truth -- to make a choice between the tree of life and the tree of knowledge -- to aspire to ascend to paradise instead of falling into hell.
Areas of distinction and differences in beliefs make the other notice you. They are what awaken his consciousness from ages of slumber. They remove the blurriness that blinds both the sight and insight, and rips the veil off the essence, which is different part and parcel than their essence. They see that this one's prophets are different than that one's prophets -- this one's inspiration different than that one's allegations -- this one's God different from that one's idol.
Therefore I dread the trap of conformity with its unity of gods, and unity of religions, for not all roads lead to Rome. It's not true that no matter what path you choose to take, you're always bound to get to the same destination.
Not all gods lead to heaven, and not all passion is born of holy love that leads to immortality.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
The Church I love is the one
That tells me more about God than about the devil
About heaven more than hell
About beauty more than sin
About freedom more than obedience
About hope more than authority
About love more than eternity
About Christ more than Herself
About the hunger of the poor more than contribution of the rich
About good more than evil
About today more than yesterday
That is a teacher and a disciple at the same time.
--Juan Erias, I do not believe in this God
Follow love, but strive for spiritual gifts: Yes, how much we, and the world, need both sides of Your revelation.
Love truly manifests You, and Your gifts reveal You, too. However, love does not require us to be followers. Instead, we are to become like You.
You are God, the first and last Lover. We are to be similar to You -- to join You when You comfort those mourning -- when you set the captives free. We join You when You heal the wounded, and when You look for the lost.
We share with You Your nature. You forgive, and we forgive. You love everyone -- the good and the evil, and we love all, too. You send sunshine and rain and give bread to the hungry, and we give and embrace. You redeem, and we sacrifice. You rise up against evil and we rise up, too.
Athanasios the Great, Archbishop of Alexandria in the 4th Century, said, "God became man, so that man could become God," -- Christ put on flesh, so we could put on immortality through Him -- could be His hands and His feet.159
Following in Your footsteps faithfully is our responsibility. The Master fulfilled His responsibility, revealing perfectly the Father in heaven.160 Now begins our responsibility, as Your disciples, to follow, watch, and be humble.
Love is our duty to You, but the giving of gifts, my Lord, is your responsibility. For, You are the giver without scorn, without begrudging, giving to each one of us according to Your will, whatever Your Holy Spirit desires to give.
Some of us, however, do not strive in asking for your gifts. Some are satisfied with the illusory pleasures of earthly gifts, which perish all too quickly.
When we do strive, and ask, and make a great effort, do not let us expect one specific gift, for whoever chooses a gift deprives himself from the joy of surprise -- the joy of celebration -- as he receives the delight of the gift. The one who decides what his gift should be has fallen into the category of merely a beggar or slave.
Sons strive, watch, knock, ask, and request, then leave space for their Father -- giving Him the full freedom to respond to their request. They grant Him the same freedom He has granted them. They allow Him to surprise them: In time of need with sweet showers of rain; in time of captivity with the falling away of chains; in times of drowning with His lifesaving rings, or His parting of the river or sea; in time of deathly illness, with a breath of life.
You have the right to ask, knock and seek. He has the right to give an answer that will remove the veil from your eyes, your heart, your soul. He has the right to remove the veil about others in your life, and angels and devils, and things of the world and things of heaven.
The Giver who gives life to all things has the right to give what He pleases.
Gifts and offerings are not wages. Wages are given to those who deserve them, but gifts and offerings are given to those who do not deserve them.
My Lord, make me follow You -- follow your love and choose to do this everyday, for it is my responsibility to You. Help me strive to ask for your gifts, because I want You to be revealed clearly to me and to all those who are afar.
-- A Muslim convert in Egypt
Advocates For The Persecuted assists those who are persecuted and suffer human rights abuses because of the exercise and practice of religious beliefs in Middle Eastern nations.
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Secondarily, we seek to advocate for non-Christian citizens suffering human rights abuses in these nations. This fulfills Jesus' commandment to love our neighbor (Luke 10:25-37), and that by this, all men will know we are Jesus' disciples. (John 13:34-35)
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1: The word "no" is that solitary word that remains full of meaning. It is never depleted. As long as we are able to say "no," we retain the ability to make changes in our life, to make new decisions, to rebel against the traditions and customs into which we were born.
13: Halal means lawful in Arabic, while haram means forbidden.
30: Martin Luther King, Jr. Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963
32: Burak is the magical Winged-Horse of Fire Mohammed rode in his ascension to heaven.
33: Mohammed's trip from Makkah to Masjid al-Aqsa in Jerusalem.
34: The stairway to heaven, which Mohammed took during his ascension.characters!
35: A walnut stick used cosmetically to darken the skin
39: "There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his messenger." Recitation of the Shahada in Arabic is all that is required for conversion to Islam according to most Islamic schools of thought.
58: Editor's note: Islamic culture places individual interests within the context of the welfare and interests of both the individual's immediate family and extended family. Though we hold individualism in high esteem in the West, it does not receive a similar status in Islamic society. This is particularly so for women.
59: Islam teaches that that Christians have corrupted the Bible.
61: Matthew 5:44 (New International Version)
63: Matthew 7:3 (New International Version)
64: Matthew 7:1 (New International Version)
66: Luke 6:32 (New International Version)
68: Matthew 5:38 and 22b (New International Version)
72: Oral traditions relating to the deeds and words of Mohammed.
81: "But recall the former days in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great struggle with sufferings: partly while you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and tribulations, and partly while you became companions of those who were so treated; for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven." Hebrews 10:32-34
106: Matthew 10:34, Hebrews 4:12
114: Halal means lawful in Arabic, while haram means forbidden.
120: In Egypt, as in other Middle Eastern countries, a religious affiliation is required on the child's birth certificate. In Egypt, this affiliation is limited to one of the three "heavenly religions" -- those mentioned in the Qur'an -- and includes Islam, Christianity and Judaism. Islam is considered the last revelation from Heaven, and therefore, those whose birth certificates list Islam as the religion of birth do not have the legal right to change the affiliation in their official identity documents. Converts to Christianity can be prosecuted for defaming a heavenly religion and suffer both imprisonment and torture, as well as assault from family members.
122: In Egypt, the police forcibly close down churches by sealing the doors with red wax tape. Metaphorically, something sealed with red wax tape is a place or thing forbidden to enter.
130: A smaller off-season pilgrimage to holy Islamic sites in Saudi Arabia.
132: Modest dress for woman, often involving a head covering
139: In Hebrews 11:19 Abraham concluded God could raise the dead. The word translated "concluded," or "reasoned" in other English translations of this verse is, in the original Greek, transliterated logizomai, meaning to reason. The word root is also the basis for the English word, logic. It was through reasoning that Abraham believed God and this was credited to him as righteousness. (Romans 4:3)
140: In a letter to Eoban Hess
143: In Egypt, the police forcibly close down churches by sealing the doors with red wax tape. Metaphorically, something sealed with red wax tape is a place or thing forbidden.
144: 1 Corinthians 9:19-22. The writer is referring here to new schools of thought on evangelistic methods being advocated by a movement in Christianity called The Global Transformation Movement. One founder of this movement is George Otis, Jr. of The Sentinal Group, in Lynnwood, Wash. Adherents to this movement believe the spiritual transformation of cities, societal institutions, people groups and even nations require new measurable methods that assess the presence of God in both sacred and secular venues. These assessments look for a decrease in crime, increased prosperty in an area's economy, and a general increase in righteousness. These changes are thought to be brought about by ecumencial mystical and social activities such as prayer walks, relief of poverty, and cultural reforms. The focus is on outward effectiveness, with the ends justifying the means. This is in contrast with traditional evangelism that focuses on witnessing and teaching disciples on a one-on-one basis, expecting persecution and rejection to be the norm. (John 15:20)
159: Athanasios was a brilliant defender of the incarnation of Christ.